


Still With You

by rosesggu



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: 2ggu are siblings, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, HuiOne are engaged, Hyuna and Dawn have cameos, I Don't Even Know, Jisoo from Blackpink mentioned, M/M, Yeonjun from TXT mentioned, a bit of angst, they kiss in the pool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24662695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesggu/pseuds/rosesggu
Summary: A weekend trip. Arrive on friday afternoon and head back on monday since that day was a day off university. That was all it was.A weekend trip with Ko Shinwon.(The twist? They get stuck in the hotel)
Relationships: Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Ko Shinwon
Comments: 20
Kudos: 31





	1. Friday

-I’m going to get going now.- Hyunggu said. Changgu’s response came loudly through the phone speakers.

-Are you sure you got everything with you?-

-I already told you. I did pack everything. I checked three times.-

-Okay, okay! No need to get mad at me. If anything happens let me know.-

-Aye sir. Bye!-

-Have a safe trip!-

Hyunggu rolled his eyes as he hung up on his brother, still smiling.

Changgu had always been very overprotective and even though it had been sweet at first and Hyunggu had always felt proud to have an older brother who cared for him so much, now that he was in his mid twenties it was kind of getting tiring.

It wasn’t like he was going somewhere special either.

A weekend trip. Arrive on friday afternoon and head back on monday since that day was a day off university. That was all it was.

A weekend trip with Ko Shinwon.

Hyunggu had met Shinwon when they were kids. They’d played in the same middle school band and sang in the same high school choir which allowed them to grow close quickly. Though Shinwon was closer to Changgu’s age Hyunggu prided himself on the fact that he was his friend, not his brother’s.

It had been quite a while since they last hung out though. They invited each other to birthday hangouts and every now and then they would send each other a ‘We should hang out soon!’ but they never ended up doing that.

Then, out of the blue, Shinwon had suggested this trip. It was early february, the time where no one really went on trips. But Ko Shinwon had always been a unique specimen.

When Hyunggu had started high school, Changgu insisting on walking him to his classes for the first two weeks until he’d accustomed to the building, Shinwon had often found him at lunch. He would tease him for his brother and Hyunggu pretended to be upset.

Shinwon also showed him all the secret hideout spots in the school, from the little backroom one of the janitors closets had to the little selfmade hangout space in the basement that some upperclassmen had set up with pillows, blankets and a little snackbar.

They would spend skipped periods there as well as lunch breaks and they’d giggle to themselves as they shared candy and greasy chips as well as fanta in cheap cans.

Then Shinwon had graduated and started college. And suddenly the ‘Meet me in the basement at 12’ messages stopped, replaced by ‘I hope school is going well.’

Hyunggu hadn’t exactly minded. He knew that going to university was a different type of busy. Maybe that was the perk of having an older brother. He could understand clearly as to why Shinwon didn’t have time for him anymore.

And now they were going on a weekend trip together. Hyunggu, currently in his final year of university, had been quite startled at the sudden invite.

‘I just thought it’d be nice to catch up! I can take a day off work so we can stay friday to monday.’ Shinwon had proposed and Hyunggu couldn’t possibly have said no to that.

He did dwell on the past and maybe, somewhere deep inside him, he wished for their bond to go back to how it was. Inseparable.

Now he loaded his small suitcase into the back of his equally small car. He did love the vehicle though, it was the first one he’d bought all by himself.

Hyunggu got into the driver’s seat and connected his phone to the speakers, turning his music up loud and singing along dramatically to musical songs as he drove, following strictly where google maps led him.

The further he got out of town the clearer the sky got and the thicker the snow layers beside the streets seemed to be.

The drive took about two hours, not too much for him for he was used to driving through the packed city which was always full. Getting from one end to other already took almost two hours if you included all the times you had to slow down because of some construction work or accident. The traffic was less stressful in the countryside.

As he pulled onto the hotel’s parking lot he realised that it was fuller than he expected. He did manage to find a spot for his car nevertheless and got out to grab his suitcase. Then he took a look at the building.

It was quite modern with a wooden exterior that you could barely see because of the countless windows facing outside. It still looked comfortable.

He considered calling Shinwon to ask if he’d already arrived but decided against it. Hyunggu wanted to explore by himself first.

Check-In started at 3pm and the clock on his phone display showed 2:40pm. Not too bad, he thought to himself.

He called Changgu instead, knowing that his brother would worry otherwise.

-Hyunggu? Are you okay?-

-Yeah. I just wanted to let you know that I arrived.-

-Is Shinwon there yet?-

-Don’t know, I don’t think he is. Check-In starts at three so I’m probably gonna look around a bit first.-

-Be safe!-

-Yes sir.-

-I love you!-

-I love you too.-

This time Changgu hung up first and Hyunggu stored his phone away in the pocket of his coat.

Then he made his way closer towards the building. It was pretty far off the highway, one long street had led to it and ended here on the parking lot. According to the internet the nearest spot of civilisation was about a 15 minute drive away but Hyunggu couldn’t quite believe that. It seemed so far off.

There was a fenced area around the building and he could spot some abandoned playground equipment, covered in the same thick snow as everything else, making it look rather dreamy.

The snow swallowed every sound and Hyunggu took a deep breath of the fresh air, his steps being the only noise. It was refreshing, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d properly left the city.

He then made his way towards the building. The glass door allowed a look into the lobby which was already filled with people who were probably waiting to check in too.

It was cold so Hyunggu decided to join them. He looked around for a familiar face but Shinwon wasn’t there.

With a sigh he plopped himself onto one of the remaining free armchairs, getting out his phone again. There were unread messages. From Shinwon, of course from Shinwon.

~Hey, I just arrived! Are you there yet?

~I just saw someone walk into the building that looked like you so I’ll just assume that was you.

~I’ll be right there I just have to get my things :)

Hyunggu put his phone away again and instead looked at the entrance, wondering what was about to happen. He nervously fixed his hair, a habit that Changgu liked to tease him for. ‘Your hair already looks good, little Narcissus.’ he’d say and Hyunggu would roll his eyes.

Then Shinwon appeared in his field of view. He was tall as always, his broad shoulders covered by a thick coat. His face was buried inside a thick woolly scarf.

He’d grown his hair out. Hyunggu noticed that immediately. As a teenager Shinwon had insisted on keeping it quite short. There was no actual reasoning, he just thought longer hair would make him look mischievous and he didn’t want to get into trouble.

Now he was working though. He wasn’t a student anymore. He was a game designer. A very good one at that too. All Hyunggu knew about his job was that he got to wear fancy sweaters and band t-shirts to work. And that he was really passionate about it.

That probably explained the hair.

Shinwon entered the hotel now, smiling widely and waving as he spotted Hyunggu, immediately approaching him.

“Hey! Did you find your way here well?”

“Google never lies.” Hyunggu affirmed and they both grinned. Then Shinwon checked the watch around his wrist.

“Check-In is starting soon. But seeing the amount of people here… we might have to wait a while.”

“That’s fine with me.” Hyunggu responded and the other man sat down across from him, humming as he stretched out his legs.

“I read that they have a neat heated indoors pool.” he stated and Hyunggu nodded.

“Sounds fun! We can check it out.”

“Yep. Do you have anything else you wanna do yet or are you suddenly a spontaneous adventurer?” Shinwon winked and Hyunggu chewed his bottom lip.

He never had been spontaneous. He didn’t like spontaneity. He preferred when things were planned out, when he had a schedule for orientation.

Shinwon was the opposite. He had always loved asking Hyunggu to hang out at the most random times. He sometimes would go to concerts of bands he didn’t know just because he passed by the venue and there were tickets still on sale. He liked cooking from scrap and without measurements. He liked going on spontaneous night drives, flipping coins to decide whether to go left or right.

“I checked and the village that’s nearby is supposed to have a cute historical shopping precinct. There’s also a museum… and some restaurants.”

“Sounds fun! I’m down.” Shinwon smiled and Hyunggu nodded.

People were checking into their rooms now and soon the lobby emptied, leaving only the two of them.

They made their way to the reception and the employee gave them a forced smile.

“Hey!” Shinwon greeted her. She breathed deeply.

“Hello and welcome! What can I do for you?”

“We have a room. My name’s Ko Shinwon and my friend is Kang Hyunggu.”

She checked the computer shortly before nodding.

“Can I have your IDs?”

They both handed their documents to her and she checked everything shortly before preparing the key cards.

“You already paid online so everything’s taken care of! Meals are down that hallway. ” she pointed to her right, “You are free to use the hotel gym and the pool and go outside to the yard. Your key card works for the doors there! Your room is on the fifth floor, elevator is in the same direction as the dining hall. If you have any further questions feel free to call reception or come here directly and me or my colleagues will be happy to assist!”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Hyunggu said as she handed them their key cards and their IDs.

“Have a pleasant stay!” she wished them and they smiled, nodding as they took off in direction of the elevator.

It was a fairly small one, you could fit about six people if you wanted, not more. Shinwon still made sure to give the other enough space.

“The building must be pretty new.” Hyunggu commented and the other nodded.

“I don’t know if I’m a huge fan of the excessive window use.”

“I’m sure there are curtains so you can have privacy.” Hyunggu reassured him and the other just smiled as the elevator door slid open with a ding, revealing the hallway of floor five to them.

Their room was the last one to the right and Shinwon fumbled shortly with his card before he was able to let them inside.

“Oh thank god, we have separate beds.” he said, laughing shortly. Hyunggu eyed the room.

It was a normal hotel room, two single sized beds with a closet separating them. A large window front that was facing the back of the hotel, a desk with two chairs around it, a TV.

Hyunggu also checked the bathroom to find a large shower with a tainted glass door as well as two sinks.

“Luxurious… we have two sinks.” he commented sarcastically and Shinwon laughed.

“Come on, let’s unpack and then get out, I want to enjoy that fresh air. It’s so… different.”

Hyunggu gave in and returned to the main room, opening his suitcase and taking out his clothes, stuffing them into the closet half that Shinwon had declared would be his.

After that they went outside.

  
  



	2. Friday - 2

Shinwon pulled his scarf a little tighter when him and Hyunggu stepped through the glass door. It was snowing again, as if there hadn’t been more snow on the ground already than there was in their city over the whole year.

The shorter boy was a few steps ahead as they walked around the large building. There was a small path that had been shoveled open and allowed them to walk to the back.

Behind the hotel there was what Shinwon believed to be a crop field and at the end of it stood a pine tree forest, the dark green treetops covered by snow as well.

“We’re really in the middle of nowhere.” Hyunggu commented.

“If we were in the middle of nowhere there would be no village nearby. We’re just a little secluded from civilisation.”

“I don't think I’ve ever seen snow this thick. Is this a metre already? Probably.”

Shinwon nodded.

The younger boy looked fascinated as he continued walking along the path towards the field.

While Shinwon had originally spent the first few years of his childhood in the countryside, used to extreme seasons and long car rides to wherever he wanted to go, Hyunggu had lived in the city all his life.

When the older had moved there at the age of 12 he’d been fascinated by how easily he could get to places. There were grocery and clothing shops right down the street from his home. Stores were lined up and constantly competing for customers wherever he went.

And all the people. There were more people living in his street than he’d known in his old village.

The drastic change had brought hardships too and Shinwon had spent many weeks missing his old life, the cars passing by his window at night and the street lamps almost as bright as daylight not letting him catch some proper sleep.

Making friends in the new school was easy. Keeping them was the challenge.

Kids in the city made friendships and lived like everything and everyone did there. Too fast, too hectic. Shinwon couldn’t keep up.

After a year he finally met Hongseok. Hongseok was different from the other kids in their grade. He was patient. He was calm and he took his time to get to know Shinwon. That was how they ended up being best friends.

Then Hyunggu had gotten to his school and Shinwon couldn’t help but be endeared by the small, smiley kid who played the keyboard in their usually below average band. Shinwon was the drummer. He didn’t think Hyunggu would actually take interest in him.

He was adorable. He’d bring sweets to practice and share them with the other students afterwards. When he met Shinwon in the halls he’d always stop him and talk to him, eyes sparkly whenever he found something exciting.

The older Hyunggu got the less excited he was. When he got onto the high school where Shinwon had already been for two years he had turned quiet, letting Shinwon do the talking. And the older pitied him. He’d always adored the boy so he made sure to spend as much time with him as he could. He invited him everywhere, showed him spots that only he and Hongseok knew.

Hyunggu was still good with people but he seemed to prefer being with Shinwon.

He also knew the younger’s brother who went to his own grade. But they never talked much. Changgu was a lot like Hyunggu but at the same time so different. Changgu was a true city kid.

After he graduated he tried to keep contact up but Hyunggu had never been a great texter or caller. Without being able to see him in person their conversations tended to become drier with time and soon Shinwon was too busy with college to put more effort.

He’d wanted to go on this trip so badly because he missed the little boy with sparkly eyes and in that moment as Hyunggu caught a few snowflakes with his tongue the sparkle was back. Shinwon smiled.

The shorter boy had matured physically as well as mentally. His jaw was sharper than what Shinwon recalled and his cheeks were less chubby. Still, in that very moment he looked as sweet as ever.

“I love snow!” Hyunggu stated and Shinwon laughed.

“Me too.”

Then they continued walking. The path followed a large circle around the hotel so by the time they reached the parking lot again 20 minutes had passed and the winter sun got in position to disappear behind the horizon.

The hotel had a little bar-styled area where you could get snacks and beverages outside of the regular mealtimes and after staying out in the cold for a while Shinwin suggested that they went there and got some coffee to warm up.

With their coats discarded to the side they sat in the lobby armchairs again, a small tray with two mugs and some chocolate cake between them.

Shinwon liked his coffee with a lot of milk and a lot of sugar. Hongseok teased him for it saying there was more caffeine in orange juice than in his coffees.

Hyunggu drank his coffee almost black, only a tiny bit of creamer inside, no sugar.

He preferred tea anyways, he always said. Shinwon didn’t get why and back in high school they would often have intense discussions about it. On this afternoon he decided not to bring it up. He just observed the younger boy taking some cake and eating it with his eyes wandering around the room.

“I wonder what the other guests are doing.” he said.

“Probably relaxing… or maybe they’re in the gym or at the pool. I also heard they have a gaming room here where they have like… table football, bigger TVs, beanbags… you know, the fancy things everyone needs.”

“Table football sounds fun.” Hyunggu said, smiling sweetly. “We should check that room out sometime.”

“Yeah, we can.”

Shinwon sipped on his coffee while the other’s phone started ringing.

-Changgu I swear to god, I called you an hour ago.- Hyunggu sounded slightly annoyed, shaking his head in disapproval.

-Yeah! Shinwon is here we’re just having coffee, it’s all good. The room’s nice.-

-I don’t know, There’s still time until dinner so…-

-Yes, I know. I love you too… Bye! Talk to you soon.-

Then he stored his phone away, sighing.

“Changgu’s still overprotective as always, huh?”

“I’m an adult I don't know why he still treats me like a kid.” Hyunggu complained, pushing his bottom lip forward and Shinwon laughed.

“I remember he’d always call when he couldn’t find you during lunch break.”

“Well that was your fault! You always took me to your hiding spots.”

“But you liked going there.”

“Obviously.” Hyunggu laughed, rolling his eyes. Shinwon smiled too.

Back when they were in high school Shinwon loved the thought of their time together being special, a secret just between them. Neither of them had ever really told others about it. It was just them, making jokes, telling each other stories, talking about school and about their fellow students.

It had always been out of question for them.

‘Why do you hang out with that kid so much anyways?’ Hongseok had asked one time and Shinwon shrugged in reply.

‘He’s my friend. Friends hang out.’ had been his response and Hongseok accepted it as that.

Hongseok had attended a different high school which was why Shinwon had gotten used to mostly seeing him in the afternoons and on the weekends. It was all good as it was.

Now Hongseok lived several hours away, working at a large company and Shinwon missed him everyday. They called each other often and stayed in touch, they even often drove to see each other.

He still wasn’t a big fan of adulthood.

“How’s college?” he asked Hyunggu. The younger boy looked up at him.

That stupid question. It was all Shinwon ever asked him anymore.

“It’s okay, I am preparing for like… starting work properly since my graduation is approaching.”

“Teacher… you’re gonna teach little kids and those kids are gonna skip your class like you and I used to.”

“They’re not gonna skip!” Hyunggu frowned. Shinwon laughed wholeheartedly, glad to notice that the other smiled along.

“Of course they will. Don’t get your hopes up too high.”

Hyunggu had majored in teaching music as well as social studies. Very fitting, Shinwon thought.

Shinwon himself had gone to university with no actual clue what he wanted to do. He’d been lucky that his first major choice, game design, had brought him joy and he went through with it. Now he worked in his own little company, the type where he knew all his colleagues by their first name.

He liked it. He enjoyed working. But he found himself reminiscing about his teenage years a lot.

Not that he missed school itself too much. What he missed was everything that came with it. Hongseok and Hyunggu included.

“How about you, any new game you’re working on?”

“Are you trying to make me spill my work secrets to you?” Shinwon teased the younger and Hyunggu grinned.

“Maybe.”

“I am working on a big project, yes. But it’ll still take some time until it’s anywhere near appropriate for publication.”

Hyunggu accepted that answer, nodding more to himself than to Shinwon as he took the last gulp of his disgustingly bitter coffee.

“Do you want to do something? Since we still have time left until dinner?” the older asked him.

“Sure. Any specific idea?”

“Table football sounds pretty fun to me.”

So they headed to the gaming room, satisfied when they found it to be empty. The table football was a fairly new one, the colours of the paint still vibrant. Hyunggu clapped his hands as he chose his side, leaving Shinwon with the other one.

“I haven’t seen one of these in ages!” the shorter boy exclaimed in joy, grabbing the checkered ball after they’d both gotten in position to play.

The game was intense, both men shouting, cheering and arguing the whole time, wide smiles on their faces.

Shinwon did win, he’d always been more skilled at games like these and when he shot his final goal Hyunggu groaned, walking over to the beanbags and letting himself fall into one, a pout on his lips.

The older boy laughed, sitting next to him.

“You’re always playing unfairly!” Hyunggu complained.

“No, you’re just a sore loser.”

“I’m not!” the younger reached out to slap his friend’s arm. Shinwon chuckled.

“Is that how you treat your elder?”

Hyunggu rolled his eyes. “Damn right, you’re old.”

“I’m in my prime time!”

They both laughed a little more, staring at the ceiling as they sunk into the beanbags.

Dinner started at 6pm and right now it was already half past six so the two men headed to the dining hall.

It wasn’t too crowded and they immediately found a nice free table where they left their coats which they’d been carrying around all afternoon.

There was a buffet with warm and cold foods alike and Shinwon loaded his plate up fully before returning to his seat. Hyunggu was already there, his own portion a little smaller.

“Wow, you must be hungry.” the younger joked and Shinwon shrugged.

“It’s all-you-can-eat, if you think I’m gonna limit my food intake because you’re watching you are wrong.”

“What’s that?” Hyunggu asked, pointing at something on the other’s plate.

“Not sure, I think it’s some sort of filled pastry?”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Feel free to try.”

They ate mostly in silence, something that had always been comfortable between them. Words were too complicated and didn’t always fulfill their purpose of bringing things across so they’d figured silence sometimes was just as useful.

“Should we watch some TV in our room tonight?” Hyunggu suggested. The other nodded.

“Sure. I think there are some good movies on this evening.”

Once they’d finished eating they finally returned to their room. Shinwon went to the bathroom to get changed into sweatpants and a large t-shirt.

He tied his too long hair up in a small ponytail. He didn’t know why he’d grown it out so much.

Hyunggu was sitting on his bed when he got back, also already dressed in more comfortable clothes. He looked up from a book rested in his lap to smile at Shinwon.

“Your hair looks nice like that.”

“Yeah? I don’t like it that much.”

“I do.”

“Thanks… what are you reading?”

Hyunggu sighed. “This is for college. Theoretical pedagogy can be so boring.”

Shinwon lay down on his bed, getting his phone out. Not that he’d missed much. He was glad about that. He was there to spend time with Hyunggu after all.

After an hour Hyunggu closed his book and put it onto his nightstand. The older did the same with his phone.

They decided on a random blockbuster that apparently had been recommended by Hyunggu’s college mates.

Shinwon wasn’t really watching, his thoughts were drifting off like they always tended to do in situations like this.

“Hey! We can turn it off if you don’t want to watch.” the younger called over from his bed. Shinwon looked at him.

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ve just been thinking.”

“About what?”

“Work.”

“We’re on a vacation! Forget about work.”

“Says the one with the college book on his nightstand.”

Hyunggu rolled his eyes before returning his attention to the TV. The older forced himself to watch with him and when the end credits started rolling he grabbed his phone to check the time.

It was shortly past ten now and the younger yawned in his bed.

“Do you want to sleep? Then we can go get breakfast early and go to that village nearby for the day.” Shinwon suggested. The other nodded in agreement.

So they both went to brush their teeth on the separate sinks, laughing awkwardly when they looked at each other. Then they went to bed. Shinwon managed to fall asleep unusually fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!! I hope this isn't all too boring!  
> Thank you for reading chapter 2, see you for the next one :D


	3. Saturday

Hyunggu woke up at 8am to find his friend already sitting in his bed, earphones in and phone tilted. He giggled occasionally. The younger boy snuggled his face against his pillow and watched Shinwon for a while, smiling at how much it reminded him of times that had passed.

Then the older noticed him, taking his earphones out and putting his phone away.

“Good morning! I already went and showered so you can take all the time you need.”

“Thanks…” Hyunggu responded, forcing himself to sit up in his bed, stretching his arms and yawning before he managed to put his blanket aside and get up.

He grabbed a set of clothes from his part of the closet before vanishing in the bathroom, sighing as he looked at himself in the mirror.

The hot water came from above with strong pressure, massaging his shoulders and washing the tiredness away. Hyunggu had his eyes closed as he applied the shampoo to his hair for way longer than necessary. He just loved the feeling so much.

Then he rinsed it out, applying shower gel instead and scrubbing his body until he felt clean enough. He stayed under the running hot water for a little longer since it was so relaxing. Then he got out.

The hotel room came with fluffy white towels that smelled of fabric softener and Hyunggu pressed one to his face before beginning to dry his body.

When his black hair only was slightly damp anymore he started getting dressed, scanning his torso in his reflection.

He’d gained muscles. Not enough to brag but enough to feel less like the small-framed kid he’d always been.

He let his fingertips trace the outlines of his collarbones before turning his face to the side and looking at his side profile.

Hyunggu remembered a conversation he’d had with his brother one time when he was 16 and Changgu was 18, rambling about this guy he’d seen working at a small food place nearby his new university.

‘His jawline is so sharp! It’s really defined, he looks so mature and mysterious! Don’t you think defined features make a guy 1000 times more attractive?’ he’d said at the time and Hyunggu had shrugged in response. What did he even find attractive in a guy? He had brought the topic up with Shinwon later on but his friend just hummed, agreeing with Changgu’s statement.

Now Hyunggu didn’t have the baby face anymore that he’d kept through all of his teenage years. His formerly round cheeks had grown back to leave the spotlight to his cheekbones. His eyes were still kind of big but now they seemed to fit into his proportions. His jawline… was visible, clearly.

He looked at his arms. The effort he’d put into training recently with the overpriced gym membership he'd wasted his allowance on seemed to pay off slowly. There was a hint of biceps and triceps and probably other muscles too that Hyunggu never had bothered to learn the names of.

His chest also stood out a bit more. The only thing that bothered him was his stomach. ‘It’s fine! Some people are just not prone to have six packs.’ Changgu had tried to console him one time but it still didn’t sit right with him.

You could see a thin line in the middle of it though. He could work on that.

Hyunggu finally put on his t-shirt and a hoodie over it, blow drying his hair quickly and brushing his teeth before heading out. He hadn’t even bothered to try and make anything of the mess on his head. His hair was unruly and he didn’t really care.

However when Shinwon’s eyes landed on him he felt slightly conscious of it. He didn’t like the feeling.

The older man just smiled, getting up from his bed too to reveal that he was already dressed.

“Breakfast time!” Shinwon called out, throwing a fist into the air in excitement and almost forgetting his key card on the way out.

Hyunggu followed him to the dining hall quietly. He wasn’t a morning person, clearly. His friend was the complete opposite.

With a baffled “Woah!” the tall man grabbed a plate and started filling it, eyes sparkling at the variety of things offered to them.

Hyunggu went for a table first and found one pretty close to the buffet. He sat down there since he had no coat to leave as a marking that the table was taken and the hall was slowly filling with more guests.

Shinwon approached him, now carrying a tray with two plates as well as two mugs balanced on it.

The two plates were for himself however he placed one mug in front of Hyunggu, revealing a dark brown liquid.

“They had that tea you like so much.” he explained and the younger smiled at the fact that he remembered.

“Thank you. I’m gonna go get food then.” he announced and left Shinwon at the table.

Hyunggu didn’t need much in the morning. A pancake, one roll with some cream cheese and a few raw vegetables that were offered should be enough. So he returned to the table where his friend waited patiently, stirring in his sugary-milk-with-coffee as Hyunggu liked to call it.

“Oh you didn’t have to wait! You could’ve just started eating.”

“No, no! We’re here together so we have meals together too.” Shinwon responded and the other just nodded, sitting down across from him.

“Do we have plans for today?” the older man asked in between two bites of his crispy bacon.

“I don’t know, we could head to the small village and check out if they have some cute shops.”

“Deal!” Shinwon said, smiling as he continued eating.

An hour later they sat in Shinwon’s car, google maps telling them to take turns and switch lanes while the driver protested occasionally. Hyunggu laughed.

It had snowed again over night but stopped this morning which was why the two of them had to shove a lot of the white flakes off the windshield as well as scratching ice away before they were able to leave the parking lot.

Fifteen minutes passed quickly and soon they were riding down the small village’s main road. Hyunggu spotted one of the large side streets that were blocked off for cars. He saw a lot of people walking from shop to shop there and was delighted to see how eery it looked.

Shinwon found a parking spot in a huge lot that seemed to have been made just for tourists and they got out of the car with anticipation.

“I’m telling you, small family owned shops in places like this beat the huge chains in the city by far.” Shinwon told his friend. Hyunggu nodded, looking around.

They’d entered the precinct now. It was illuminated by not only the sun that had been rising slowly but also by lanterns that hung from the houses that looked much older than most of the buildings in their home city.

The first shop they entered was a small clothing store. Everything was unique, you couldn’t find a single piece twice and Hyunggu scanned through the rags to find something that could possibly fit him.

“Hyunggu! Look at this, I think it’d suit you.”

The taller man was holding a checkered cardigan in pastel colours. The younger took his coat off and let his friend help him try the piece on.

He had been right, it did look pretty good on Hyunggu, as far as he could judge from looking into the long mirror standing at a wall.

“I’ll buy it for you.” Shinwon said and before the other could protest he’d already taken the cardigan up to the register were a middle aged woman sat, smiling widely as she chatted with him about how nice the cardigan looked on Hyunggu and that she hoped he’d wear it a lot.

The two men then left the small shop and walked around aimlessly for a bit, looking into the windows of the different stores. Suddenly Shinwon gasped.

“Oh my god, they have a pottery shop!” he squealed excitedly, practically running towards the small establishment, Hyunggu following closeby.

The owner of the shop sat nearby the register, currently working on another piece apparently, hands covered in clay and eyes focused on the spinning table in front of him.

Shinwon scanned the displayed pots, vases, bowls, mugs, plates and everything else. Some of them were painted with detailed patterns, some were solid coloured.

A pair of mugs with flowers on them seemed to have caught his attention.

“Ah, I see, found something you like?” the owner’s deep voice startled the both of them.

“I like everything in here! Did you make everything yourself?”

“Of course… well, my wife and kids do help sometimes so I can’t take all the credit.”

“That’s so amazing… I used to do pottery as a kid with my grandparents.” Shinwon explained and Hyunggu realised that there were things that he’d never known about the other.

“So you have experience? Do you want to try?” the owner offered and Shinwon gasped.

“Are you serious? I mean… sir, I wouldn't want to waste your clay or time…”

“Well, young man, I’m offering you! I used to give workshops here too but… they haven’t been as popular and I’ve been more busy so I had to stop.”

Shinwon nodded slowly. “If you allow me I’d like to try then.”

That was how he ended up sitting at the spot where the shop owner had previously been while said man washed his hands and looked at Hyunggu.

“What about you, anything that caught your interest here?”

“I like the purple vase.” Hyunggu responded and the potter gave him a kind smile.

“Lovely choice. My daughter made that one.”

Hyunggu walked over to it, carefully touching the material.

“My mother is a florist… I think she’d like this.” he thought out loud. Then he turned to the shop owner. “How much is it?”

“Oh it’s 13,000 won.”

Hyunggu shook his head. He grabbed his wallet and gave more than twice the amount.

“Keep it. This is for the vase and for… giving him the chance.” Hyunggu finished, gesturing towards Shinwon who was so deeply focused on the bowl shaping in between his ridiculously small fingers that he hadn't even registered their conversation.

After about 20 minutes Shinwon stopped, smiling.

“Thank you, sir.” he said to the potter who came to inspect the progress he’d made on his piece.

“See, this is looking really good! Thank you for your help.” he thanked Shinwon who blushed lightly before washing his hands.

The taller of the two young men decided on buying the flower mug too, also giving a lot more than it actually cost.

Then him and Hyunggu left the shop, waving at the owner who smiled at them. “Thank you for your visit, boys. I hope to see you around again someday!”

“That was so nice.” Hyunggu stated as the door closed behind them and a breeze of cold winter air hit their faces.

“I told you! Local businesses are just a different experience.”

It was early noon now and they decided to check out the small bookstore they came across.

Hyunggu found himself in his element, his heart swelling at the stacked shelves. He let his index finger trail over the books, scanning for an interesting looking title. Shinwon skipped through the pages of a short novel.

“Looking for anything specific?” the employee asked, a girl that seemed to be around Shinwon’s age. She had her long black hair tied up into a ponytail and large earrings were dangling from her ears. She wore a large flannel over a black top and she smiled politely, dimples forming in her cheeks.

“No, just roaming around. You have any recommendations?”

“Well you have to give me a direction! Are you more like the fantasy type… or romance novel, sci fi, crime… wait, let me guess!”

Hyunggu waited patiently as the girl looked him up and down, furrowing her brows in concentration.

“Poetry?” she eventually asked and Hyunggu smiled.

“You got me. My guilty pleasure.”

She laughed before scanning the books until she picked out a thin one.

“This one, my personal favourite. People don’t appreciate ancient poetry like they used to.”

Hyunggu took the book, smiling as he scanned the cover shortly. “Looks good!”

“It’s a shame you’re not gonna be a korean teacher.” Shinwon mocked. “I’m sure students would love to analyse poems with you.”

“Oh, an aspiring teacher?” the employee asked.

“Social studies and music.” Hyunggu confirmed and she clapped.

“That sounds exciting! I’m sure the students will appreciate it. Young teachers are usually very refreshing.”

Hyunggu smiled awkwardly, muttering a “Thanks.,.”

Then the girl added. “My girlfriend is studying to be a teacher too. English.”

“Does she like to read a lot too?” Shinwon asked. The girl nodded.

“Almost more than me and I’m the one who works in a bookstore. Did you find anything you like?”

The taller man slowly shook his head no.

“He doesn’t read a lot.” Hyunggu explained. His friend gasped offendedly.

“Lies! I’ve just been busy with work.”

“Maybe we can find something you like.” the girl suggested. Shinwon smiled.

“Alright. I dare you.”

She carefully looked at him and Hyunggu looked at him too.

Shinwon was wearing a knitted sweater under his coat and a light blue pair of jeans. He had his hair tied up again and Hyunggu thought it looked adorable.

“You look like you read dystopian novels and fantasy books.” she finally decided. Shinwon laughed.

“Are you like… psychic?”

She smiled at him. “No, I just learned to read people. Work experience, my boss says.”

She grabbed a book that was thick and heavy, handing it to him.

“This one is really good. My girlfriend loves it too.” she explained and Shinwon read the short summary on the back.

“Sounds intriguing, I’m down.”

They both paid for their books and the girl smiled as she handed the paper bags to them that included their new possessions.

“It was nice meeting you. I’m Jisoo.”

“Shinwon. And the little dreamer is Hyunggu. Nice meeting you too!”

Jisoo waved as they headed outside.

“I can’t believe she talked us into buying stuff this slyly. She’s really good.”

“You can’t ever have enough books, Shinwon,”

They decided to have an early lunch in one of the traditional restaurants down the street, managing to get a table for two right by the window. Hyunggu looked outside and observed the people passing by as they waited for their food.

“Was the place you grew up in similar to here?” he asked his friend.

Shinwon smiled. “Yeah, my parents’ friends had a little bakery. I used to spend every afternoon there and did my homework while they gave me hot chocolate and snacks.”

“It seems nice. So calm.”

“It is nice. I don’t think you can compare it though. I like that in the city… you can just disappear in the crowd if you don’t want to be seen. In places like this everyone knows you.”

“Have you wanted to disappear in the crowd before?”

The older nodded, staring at his fumbling fingers.

“Obviously. Not every day is a good one to be talked to.”

Hyunggu couldn’t recall a time where he’d seen Shinwon upset. He was always all smiles and laughter. Always upbeat, positive, joking around.

Their meals came soon after and they ate in silence, Hyunggu thinking of the vase he bought for his mother.

“What should we do after lunch?” Shinwon asked.

“I don’t know, do you have anything you want to do?”

“Not really… we could walk around a bit more.”

“Okay.”

They finished eating silently and then made their way outside again.

As they walked through a narrow side alley Hyunggu shifted a little closer to the other. Shinwon smiled at him.

“This is nice, right? The silence…” he said and the shorter boy nodded.

“It’s never silent at home.”

Home. Hyunggu lived in a small student dorm together with three other boys that were his age. The apartment they shared was never entirely clean, you could find dirty plates and cups everywhere and clothes were often scattered in places where no one remembered leaving them.

He thought about the term ‘home’. Was that tiny dorm his home? Or was it his parents’ little flat that overlooked one of the busiest streets in the city, with the paintings of flowers and landscapes in every room and the smell of his father’s cologne lingering in every piece of furniture?

Or maybe it was the place that Changgu and his fiancé had bought a year prior. Plants taking up most of the space.

Hyunggu looked at his friend again who was saying something that the younger didn’t listen to. His voice was melodic and calm, interrupted by chuckles and excited giggles. It had always been like that.

Home… a funny word.

  
  



	4. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight TW for this one there is a car accident mentioned!

Shinwon woke up on sunday to find that it was still entirely dark outside and yet Hyunggu was already pacing around the room.

“Morning.” the older muttered, feeling his throat sore from sleep and his friend turned to look at him.

“Hi! You can go back to sleep it’s just 6am.”

“Why are you up?”

“I don’t know, just feel very energised. I might go check out the gym.”

Shinwon raised his brows. Hyunggu hadn’t been a huge fan of exercise back in high school.

“You work out?” he asked and the younger man blushed slightly.

“Well, yeah… I want to feel happier with my body.”

“Can I come along?” Shinwon asked, suddenly not feeling so sleepy anymore and rather curious. Hyunggu laughed.

“I’ve never seen you voluntarily do any sport in your life!”

“I’m a changed man, maybe?” the older suggested and Hyunggu giggled loudly.

“Don’t lie.”

“Fine. But I still wanna come. I’m awake now anyways.”

Hyunggu shrugged and nodded, grabbing a towel. Shinwon was grateful that he wore sweatpants to sleep as he followed down the hotel hallway behind him.

A staircase led down to the gym room and the pool. The shorter man skipped down several steps at a time and Shinwon already felt exhausted from trying to catch up.

The room was dark but Hyunggu quickly found a light switch and soon it was illuminated by cold ceiling lights, the type that made you uncomfortable. Shinwon hated it but he wasn’t planning on saying that out loud so he just sat down, back leaning against a wall while Hyunggu put his towel aside and started stretching.

It was now that Shinwon realised the fine lines of muscle visible on his friend's arm. Maybe this explained why he looked so grown suddenly.

“It’s 6 in the morning and you’re exercising… you're insane, Kang Hyunggu. Almost as bad as Hongseok.”

“Hey! You're one to judge! Working out wouldn't do any harm to you either, you’re just lazy.”

“And I stand by that.” Shinwon responded, poking his tongue out and laughing as the other rolled his eyes.

The hotel gym was fairly small but it offered just enough to Hyunggu’s satisfaction apparently. A treadmill, some weights stacked in the corner and a device that Shinwon couldn’t put a name to the slightest. It seemed to be for leg training though.

He had left his phone in their room so Shinwon passed the time Hyunggu spent grunting and panting by observing the dumbbells. There were fairly small ones that even he could lift easily. They slowly got bigger and heavier and he decided to test his limits.

“Don't strain any muscles” Hyunggu told him in a scolding tone.

“Yes, mother.” Shinwon mocked in response. Eventually he got bored of the dumbbells and observed his friend.

There were pearls of sweat on his forehead and he breathed loudly. The sight weirdly impressed Shinwon.

Hongseok had tried to get Shinwon into working out many times already but gave up when they were around 20 due to the fact that his friend got whiny and annoying after 5 minutes every time.

Shinwon did like the gym visits though. It was quite an experience seeing so many buff men at once, some of them even shirtless. Why would he complain?

A few minutes past seven Hyunggu finally decided that he was finished and Shinwon got up with delight as the other wrapped his towel around his shoulders and took a deep sip from the water bottle he’d brought.

“Did you really sacrifice an hour of sleep just to watch me work out?” Hyunggu teased his friend, laughing while Shinwon gasped, playing offended.

“Excuse me? I was your emotional support!”

“Ah yes, thank you.” the younger finished sarcastically and Shinwon grinned at him.

Back in their room while Hyunggu showered the other pondered on what they could do that day. A look out of the window revealed that it was still snowing, no stopping in sight. He checked the weather app to find out that it was freezing cold, not the kind of weather where you wanted to go outside.

Hyunggu returned to the room with only a towel wrapped around his waist, holding it tightly with one hand while the other grabbed clothes from his side of the closet.

“Forgot to take them with me…” he explained, more to himself than to Shinwon who glanced at his exposed back and then quickly focused on his phone again. Staring would be weird. This was Hyunggu after all.

The younger vanished in the bathroom again only to get back 2 minutes later, this time fully dressed and with a towel on his head as he dried off his hair.

“You can go now. Bathroom’s free.”

Shinwon nodded, making sure not to forget his clothes as he left the main room.

He turned the water so hot that it started steaming, thick streams pressing onto his skin. It was sunday already and tomorrow they would leave the hotel again. Shinwon would go back to work, Hyunggu would go back to college. He wondered if they once again would stop talking regularly.

He liked that it was still comfortable with Hyunggu. He liked that it felt like no time had passed since the boy with the big, sparkly eyes had last jumped into his arms on Shinwon’s high school graduation day, holding him tightly and congratulating him, emphasising how proud he was of him.

It was like that. Hyunggu had brought so much sunshine and warmth into the other’s life from the day they met until now and Shinwon regretted not putting more effort.

While the foam flowed down his body into the drain he wondered how Hyunggu’s life looked now. Did he have a best friend who he went to lunch with everyday? How did he spend his free time? Was there someone who made him laugh that sweet, loud laugh at any given time?

Shinwon missed him.

He stepped out of the shower with a sudden feeling of sadness.

When he was dressed, wearing a strangely uncomfortable pair of jeans paired with a loose button up shirt, he returned to the main room to find Hyunggu passed out in his bed.

Shinwon chuckled to himself as he tucked the other into his blanket and sat down on his own bed, getting his phone out.

Hyunggu woke up again at half past eight and they went to breakfast, deciding that they’d spend the day at the hotel because it seemed to be windy and uncomfortably cold outside. The younger also wanted to read his new book and Shinwon decided he’d also take a look at the one Jisoo convinced him to buy.

That was how most of the day went by. For lunch they got some greasy pizza and bags of chips from the hotel bar as well as some wine because Hyunggu didn’t like any other alcoholic drinks.

The barkeeper was a middle aged man, drying off some plates as they sipped on their beverages.

“It’s rare, having such young people here at this time of the year.” he commented and Hyunggu smiled.

“How come?”

“Well the couples normally come during the summer to visit the lakes nearby or around christmas time. Around this time we mostly have families here.”

“Couples…? I… we aren’t…” Shinwon stuttered and the man laughed.

“I wasn’t implying anything! I used to go on trips with my friends too. But still, not really in early february. Is there a special occasion, if I’m allowed to ask?”

“Ah, we just wanted to hang out a bit, we have been quite busy so we thought our friendship could use some refreshing.” Hyunggu explained and the barkeeper nodded.

“That’s a nice thing. I’m glad young people still do that. Friendships are so short-lived sometimes. My son seems to have a new best friend every month.”

“I think friendships should be treasured. Especially this one.” Shinwon commented, catching Hyunggu smiling at him.

“The weather’s looking kind of terrible though, not exactly a day to take trips.” the man said now, pointing at the nearest window where snowflakes were being twirled around by wind.

“Yeah, we were out yesterday so we’re just staying inside today. Reading a bit, talking a bit…” Hyunggu said, nibbling on his pizza.

The barkeeper just nodded, smiling and letting the conversation die. The three now were there in silence until Shinwon and Hyunggu had finished their meals. They thanked the man and paid him before going upstairs with their chips.

Hyunggu was already about to grab his book again but Shinwon cleared his throat instead, determined to make conversation with him and learn a bit more on what he’d missed from Hyunggu’s life.

“I’ve missed out on a lot, haven’t I?” he asked and the younger looked at him, brows raised.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… in your life. I’ve really not been up to date.”

“It’s okay… I don’t blame you.”

“Do you mind telling me a bit now?”

Hyunggu puffed his cheeks and sighed.

“Where do I even start?”

“Wherever you want.”

“I don’t know…” he began, looking around in the room as he thought. “I… guess I haven’t had a lot of interesting or big things happening. I mean… after

high school I stayed with my parents for a few years… I just went to college, you know, nothing special. I moved out two years ago… yeah, that’s all, I think.”

“Really? No crazy drunk stories or people you’ve met or special things that happened?”

“Well I guess there was that one time I ended up drunkenly being proposed to.”

Shinwon sat up, raising his brows. “By who?” was the first question that came to mind. Not how, not when, not what Hyunggu had responded. Who.

“My friend Wooseok… was kind of hilarious, to be honest. I think we were playing truth or dare.”

“Did you say yes?”

“Obviously not! God, that would have been a mess. No, Wooseok likes another good friend of mine. I couldn’t have done that to either of them, not even as a joke.”

Shinwon smiled at how considerate the other was. Always thinking about possible consequences of his actions. 

“That’s kind of relieving. You’re still pretty young.”

“Stop acting as if you’re that much older than me!”

They both laughed at that and Hyunggu ended up laying down onto his pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

“I missed this.” he said. “I missed talking with you and laughing until my stomach hurts.”

“Me too.”

“What happened to us?” Hyunggu asked and Shinwon didn’t have anything to tell him.

The city had gotten to them. He wanted to explain that it was the way things worked there. Things didn’t last in the city. They popped up within the speed of light and disappeared just as fast. Like the shops on Shinwon’s street. None of them had been there for longer than three years and some seemed to have a different owner every day.

The city had swallowed them. Infected them like a virus. It had slowly eaten up the ties between them and took the one thing from Shinwon that he’d wanted to be permanent.

Shinwon wanted to tell Hyunggu that in the city, only in the city, people fall in love at night and forget each other in the morning. That with each sunrise another connection rips and that with each hello there is a farewell.

But who was he to tell Hyunggu anything about the city when the younger had spent all his days there? Hyunggu had never gotten to know the thrills of riding a bicycle down an empty country road along countless fields with seemingly no end in sight.

The city lived inside of Hyunggu just as much as he lived in the city. The pulse of the busy streets and the loud sounds and neon lights had been synchronised with his very own heartbeat from the day he was born. 

To Hyunggu home was each busy subway station. Each loud siren and each car rushing by his window.

And to Shinwon it had started to be the same.

“I don’t know.” he said finally after a long silence. It wasn’t quite an answer to Hyunggu’s question but rather a statement. He couldn’t have found a reasonable explanation even if he’d tried to. And he damned the city for ruining everything. It always ruined everything.

Hyunggu changed the topic after that and they didn’t bring it up again. Shinwon was quite grateful. The younger was good at picking up social cues.

Then they sat at dinner in the large dining hall. There was a crackle from the speaker in the upper corner. Then he heard a voice.

“Dear guests, we would like to inform you that because of the heavy snow storm predicted for tomorrow until wednesday we have to ask you to extend your stay until thursday morning and refrain from leaving the hotel. You will not be charged extra. If that is not possible you’re required to leave tonight.”

The voice repeated it once more and then said a dry ‘Thank you.’ There was another crackle and it turned completely silent.

“Thursday?” Hyunggu gasped out and Shinwon caught his concerned look.

“We can just leave tonight.” the older suggested but Hyunggu’s eyes widened as he frantically shook his head.

“We can’t!” he said, voice shaky and Shinwon had never seen him like this.

“Why?... Are you okay?”

“I can’t drive at night.” Hyunggu said and the other tried to read anything from his face.

“What?”

The younger’s eyes were glassy now and he inhaled deeply.

“Hyunggu, tell me what’s wrong!” Shinwon demanded.

“I… last year I… I was driving home from a party and… I was sober, of course. And I waited at a crossroad but…” his voice was trembling still and Shinwon was too concerned to say anything at this point. “This other guy he… he was drunk, very drunk… he came from my right and… he was so fast… I didn’t see him coming and…” Hyunggu’s breath hitched. “He… he can’t walk anymore, Shinwon.”

The older man got up, immediately wrapping his arms around the other’s shoulders. Maybe they looked pathetic in the middle of the dining hall. It didn’t matter.

“Hey, hey… it’s okay, Hyunggu. It’s alright. Did you… get injured then?”

“I broke my leg… but Shinwon he… he had his whole life ruined.”

“But he was the drunk one! It was not your fault.”

“I still… I can’t drive in the dark. Especially not alone.” Hyunggu stuttered out and Shinwon nodded.

“It’s okay. We’ll stay here.”

“But don’t you have work?” Hyunggu whispered and Shinwon’s heart ached at how vulnerable the younger was in that moment.

“It’s okay. I’ll explain the situation to my boss tomorrow, okay? It’ll be alright. We can stay here that’s no problem.”

Hyunggu nodded and inhaled deeply. Shinwon returned to his seat, not feeling very hungry anymore.


	5. Monday + Tuesday

Hyunggu woke up on monday to find that it was still dark outside, as expected. Shinwon was in his bed, arms and legs spread out widely and snoring slightly. The younger chuckled.

He grabbed his phone to check the time. It was already 8am so he decided to check his emails. He’d sent some out to his professors the evening prior to explain his situation but there were no responses yet.

He thought about calling Changgu, he might be awake already. But he didn’t want to wake Shinwon up so he just grabbed his book and read a bit.

Shinwon woke up not even 20 minutes later, rubbing his eyes and pulling a face at the bright light on Hyunggu’s nightstand.

“Morning!” Hyunggu greeted him and his friend just groaned in response, burying his face in his pillow.

“What time is it?” he groaned, voice muffled.

“Almost 8:30. We should get up soon if we still want breakfast.”

“Ugh.” Shinwon sat up now, pulling his hair and sighing.

Hyunggu decided that now would be an okay time to call his brother so he dialed the number while his friend stretched his limbs.

Changgu picked up quickly. He always did.

-Hyunggu? Are you okay? It’s so early, did anything happen?- he sounded sleepy but concerned and his brother giggled.

-No, sleepyhead. I’m just calling to tell you that we’re stuck in the hotel until thursday because of a snow storm. It’s okay though, we have food and running hot water. And I have Shinwon so I won’t get bored.-

-Oh my god! At least you’re safe… But be careful okay? Don’t go out! And call me everyday. Don’t make me worry!-

-You worry all the time anyways. But I promise I’ll be fine. How are things with you?-

-Well after you ripped me out of my peaceful sleep I just got up and made some tea.-

-How’s Hwitaek?-

-Asleep, of course. That’s a dumb question, Hyunggu. He’s always sleeping.-

-Fair point…-

-How was your weekend though? Are you and Shinwon getting along?-

-Of course! We are getting along just fine. On saturday we went to this little town. I got a really pretty vase for mum!-

-Oh she’ll love that, I’m sure.-

-I hope so. I’m gonna go now we have to get breakfast.-

-Stay safe! I love you!-

-Love you too. Say hi to Hwitaek for me.-

-Will do.-

Hyunggu hung up first this time and placed his phone aside.

“Was that Changgu?” Shinwon asked curiously, now more awake.

“Yeah.”

“Who’s Hwitaek?”

Hyunggu grinned. “His fiancé”

The older boy gasped, eyes open wide. “Woah! Changgu’s engaged?”

“Yes! He met Hwitaek at college… lucky…”

“Wow… I didn’t expect that… what… what about you?”

“What about me?”

Shinwon started fumbling with his blanket.

“I mean… relationship wise, do you have anything going on? We never really talked about that.”

“Oh…” Hyunggu felt his cheeks getting warm.

In middle and high school he’d always considered it weird that he had no interest in any girls or boys whatsoever. Listening to Changgu gush about people was annoying to him. What did he find so great about them anyways?

He couldn’t imagine liking any of the students on his school in a romantic way. He didn’t want to be closer to anyone. He was perfectly content with how things were. He had Shinwon and that was all he needed.

He did remember a time where Shinwon had a thing going on with some guy for a few weeks but that ended quickly. ‘He’s just not as cool or nice as you.’ he’d explained to Hyunggu when the younger asked why it ended so fast.

And he had been okay with that, until Shinwon graduated and he was left on his own.

“I had a boyfriend my first year of college. Nice guy… he was kind of materialistic though and hated when I was affectionate so it didn’t really feel right. Since then… some dates, some hookups but I don’t know, nothing really serious. What about you?”

Shinwon laughed. “No one wants to date a big nerd like me.”

“Don’t say that! I always looked up to you so much while growing up. You’re so smart and being a nerd doesn’t make you unattractive!”

“So you think I’m attractive?” the older teased, wiggling his brows while Hyunggu rolled his eyes. 

“Let’s go get breakfast.” he just said and so they made their way downstairs to the dining hall.

Everyone there seemed kind of stressed, hotel guests were making phone calls while sipping on their coffees. Hyunggu didn’t like the tension.

“Wow… people seem to not be liking the whole snow storm thing.” Shinwon commented while he loaded two pancakes onto his plate. His friend stood behind him, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, no shit.” he responded sarcastically and the older scoffed at him.

“Hey! Don’t be such a brat.”

“Sorry.” Hyunggu pouted and Shinwon laughed, taking his now filled plate to the table they’d chosen.

After breakfast they decided to head to the gaming room since Shinwon had once again challenged the younger to a game of table football.

This time, however, they weren’t alone.

When they got there two other people were there already, a young man and woman. They couldn’t be much older than Shinwon.

“You prick! You’re always being unfair!” the woman yelled at her companion while they were deeply into a game of uno.

Hyunggu and Shinwon exchanged a look. ‘Should we leave again?’ the younger attempted to ask without words. The older just shrugged.

“Oh! Do you two wanna join?” the uno guy asked now, raising his brows at the two men standing there awkwardly.

He had bleached, messy hair and a few visible tattoos. The woman with him had ginger curls and also some tattoos. She wore pink lipstick and over all looked intimidating but very beautiful.

“Sure!” Shinwon responded before Hyunggu had the chance to say anything and before he knew his friend dragged him to the table the other two were sitting at.

“Hi! I’m Hyuna. This is my boyfriend Hyojong. Be warned, he takes this game too seriously.” the woman said and smiled.

“Are you kidding me? You’re the one who gets upset when you lose.”

“I’m Hyunggu. This is Shinwon.” Hyunggu interrupted them, smiling shyly while Hyojong reached his hand towards him for a high five.

“Nice to meet you. Now get ready.”

As it turned out Shinwon also took uno very seriously, ending up in a heated one on one battle for the first place with Hyojong.

“So, what brings two youngsters like you here?” Hyuna asked Hyunggu in the meantime, leaning over to him a bit to not interrupt the game.

“Youngsters? How old are you, if I may ask?”

“Oh, I’m 27.”

“I’m 22… Shinwon’s 24. We’re just here to catch up a bit, we haven’t been a touch a lot recently and we’re friends since childhood so…”

“Just friends?” Hyuna raised her brows and Hyunggu felt his cheeks getting warm.

“Yeah, just friends.”

“That sounds fun!”

He smiled at her awkwardly while she laughed. “Don’t be so shy! You’re a cutie.”

“No it’s just… you’re really pretty.” Hyunggu admitted and Hyuna smiled at him.

“I’m flattered. Thank you so much.”

“God damn it! You’re really good!” Hyojong exclaimed in that moment, when Shinwon placed his final card on the deck, grinning triumphantly.

“I know, I know.”

They all laughed at that. Shinwon proceeded to challenge Hyojong to table football while the other two sat down in the beanbags, watching them.

“It kinda sucks, being stuck here, doesn’t it?” Hyuna asked Hyunggu and he shrugged.

“I don't really mind, just a bit stressed about missing college.”

“What’s your major?”

“Uh, well, I’m preparing to teach social studies in music.”

She clapped. “Wow! You must be smart then.”

“No I just… I don’t know, it comes easy to me.”

“Of course, you’re smart!” Shinwon commented as he tried to prevent Hyojong from scoring his second goal.

“Thanks.” Hyunggu said back and Hyuna raised her brows.

They spent most of the day there with the couple, playing different games and watching a movie on the big TV.

“This has been fun but we gotta get going, I wanna get changed before dinner.” Hyuna announced eventually. “It was so great to meet you guys. See you around!”

She and Hyojong gave both Shinwon and Hyunggu quick hugs before leaving the room.

“Wow, those might be the coolest people I’ve ever met.” Shinwon stated and Hyunggu chuckled.

“Let’s go upstairs too.” he just said so they did.

At breakfast the next day they sat at one table with Hyuna and Hyojong, the couple explaining something about the importance of bees to Shinwon while Hyunggu simply sat there and listened, looking from Hyuna and Hyojong to Shinwon and back.

Shinwon hadn’t brushed his hair that morning. He looked like a sleepy mess and somehow it was incredibly adorable.

“Have you guys checked the gym out yet? I was thinking of going there this afternoon.” Hyojong eventually said.

“Do you mind if I join you? Shinwon isn’t the best training partner.” Hyunggu said and his friend gasped.

“Excuse me? I’m the best you could possible get.”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night.”

The conversation shifted from there and after breakfast Shinwon and Hyunggu went to their room again.

“What should we do today?” the older asked.

“I don’t know, do you have any ideas?”

“I have one but you’ll probably say it’s dumb.”

“What is it?”

“Hide and seek?” Shinwon suggested, smiling his foolishly big and genuine smile and Hyunggu had a hard time resisting that.

“In the hotel?”

“Yeah! We could do it downstairs in the lobby… or here in the corridor, I don’t know.”

“In the lobby? Not in this lifetime, everyone could see.”

“What, are you embarrassed?” Shinwon teased and the younger rolled his eyes.

“With you? Always.”

“Ah, come on, I know you love me.”

They went into their empty corridor, scanning it for possible hiding spaces.

“You wanna start counting?” Shinwon asked and Hyunggu shrugged, covering his eyes as he began to count out loudly.

He couldn’t hear the other’s steps on the carpet and once he reached 20 he couldn’t see the other at all.

Their corridor was long and went around a corner so Hyunggu simply walked to the edge first, looking around to see that the older hadn’t stayed in plain sight.

He wondered if he possible could have gone to their room but he deemed that such thing would be unfair so he decided to look around the corridor first, checking around furniture and behind curtains.

Behind the last curtain in the furthest corner he found the other, sitting on the windowsill and grinning as he spotted him.

“You’re fast!”

“You found a terrible hiding spot.”

“I’m telling you this would be way more fun in the lobby!”

Hyunggu rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

So they headed downstairs to the lobby to find it quite crowded with people sat in the armchairs and by the bar, talking and drinking coffee.

“Alright, my turn to hide.” Hyunggu announced and Shinwon started counting.

He hid beneath an unoccupied table, making himself as small as possible. Shinwon did take quite a while to find him, the lobby was big.

When he spotted Hyunggu he started laughing, walking up to him to ruffle his hair.

“Well played!” he praised him and Hyunggu smiled.

It was his turn again and over the distant chatter of the other hotel guests it was hard to identify in which direction Shinwon’s steps had gone.

He checked every possible hiding spot that he could think of. Behind each counter and corner, under each table, he even checked the hallway leading to the dining hall. He couldn't find his friend.

He looked around again and was about to call the other out of worry. That was when he saw a familiar head within the mass of people sat at the bar. He ran up to Shinwon and tapped his shoulder.

“Jeez! You scared me! I almost couldn't find you!” he scolded and Shinwon grinned.

“That was the trick. Blend in with the crowd, it’s a good way of hiding.”

“Don’t do that again!” Hyunggu whined and his friend laughed.

“What, did you worry?”

“Of course I did! You’re an idiot. I don’t wanna play anymore.”

Shinwon smiled, gently pulling Hyunggu into a hug.

“Okay then, no more playing.”

Hyunggu settled in the stool next to Shinwon’s afterwards and ordered a coffee, feeling embarrassed for getting too worked up about it.

Thankfully the older didn't bring it up again and simply made conversation about some random things until it was time for dinner.

Hyunggu looked out of the window as they ate, watching snowflakes being swirled around by storm that almost made them look like they fell horizontally. You could barely see further than a metre.

“The weather looks terrible. I’m glad we’re inside and safe.” he commented and Shinwon hummed.

“Yeah, me too.”


	6. Wednesday

Wednesday morning brought a weird silence with it, the storm had almost passed by and you could see a bit more than a white mess out of the window.

Hyunggu was still asleep, lying on his stomach while Shinwon sat up and checked his phone for messages. A few texts from Hongseok and a few from his parents. That was all.

It was early still so he decided to try to lie down for a little longer which allowed him to nap a bit more and the next time he woke up Hyunggu was already standing in front of the closet.

“Morning!” he greeted his older friend who groaned in response and got up a little too quickly which made him feel dizzy for a second.

“I’m hungry.” Shinwon announced and the younger laughed.

“Hyojong texted me and asked if we wanna join them for breakfast in 15 minutes.”

“Convenient.”

They both got dressed into casual clothes before heading down to the dining hall where they found the couple already sitting at the table.

“Last day!” Hyuna commented once they’d seated themselves and Hyunggu nodded.

“Yeah, finally.”

“What do you mean finally? You got to spend almost three extra days with me!” Shinwon scoffed and his friend laughed.

“Yes, yes, I know.”

They got their food and ate with Hyuna and Hyojong who this time talked about their lives a bit. What was particularly interesting was that Hyojong was a chemist, something neither Hyunggu nor Shinwon had expected.

After breakfast they decided to spend the day together with the couple and the four of them once again went to the gaming room, playing with cards and also having a little spontaneous karaoke session in which allrounder Hyuna outdid all of them.

It unlocked a distant memory in Shinwon’s mind, one in which he was singing, or rather screaming along to songs that were popular long before he was even born while Hyunggu watched him and grinned widely, raising his arms into the air and cheering him on.

Hyunggu was shy about his singing at first so it took almost two years of their friendship until he felt comfortable to sing in front of the other. Shinwon hadn’t understood why, his voice was beautiful, like everything about the younger was.

Apparently the whole aspiration of being a music teacher had changed that though because Hyunggu was comfortably showcasing his voice to Hyuna and Hyojong who clapped for him.

Hyuna chose a duet next but Hyojong refused to do it. “I hate that song!” he explained so his girlfriend sighed.

“Guess you two will have to do it then.” she announced to Hyunggu and Shinwon who exchanged a look.

“I mean… okay?” the older responded and Hyuna looked satisfied with that.

Hyunggu did seem to have quite a lot of fun, laughing loudly when Shinwon’s voice cracked as he tried to hit an extremely high note.

And Shinwon had fun too, it was impossible not to smile along when he heard his friend’s loud laugh.

Hyunggu’s laugh had always been his most charming point. It was incredibly addictive, the way he started screaming and squealing as well as hitting things around him in excitement. He was adorable, he’d always been and Shinwon smiled as he realised how the little boy who offered him candy during middle school band rehearsals had grown into a beautiful and intelligent man.

‘I missed you’ Shinwon thought, hoping Hyunggu wasn’t a mind reader. ‘No, I still miss you.’

The song ended and Hyojong and Hyuna praised the two for giving a fantastic performance.

It now was afternoon and they decided to get something to eat and drink from the bar.

None of them shied away from the alcohol. Shinwon discovered that Hyunggu and Hyuna apparently shared a love for wine. Soon he felt a little warmer in his stomach and a little lighter over all.

He didn’t drink often or much but this seemed like a valid time to do it. Hyunggu was about to order another glass but Hyuna stopped him.

“Baby, baby, we don’t want to actually get drunk! I think you had enough for today. Now eat your pizza and let’s get some water.”

Shinwon couldn’t read Hyunggu’s eyes when the younger started looking at him, directly holding eye contact. He blamed the alcohol for the weird feeling in his chest.

After Hyuna and Hyojong ran out of things to ramble about they excused themselves for their late afternoon nap and Hyunggu led Shinwon back to their room as well, plopping onto his bed there.

“I’m tired.” he stated.

“Take a nap then.”

The younger didn’t make him say it again, passing out the second his head met the pillow. Shinwon did the same thing and for maybe two hours slipped into a light slumber.

When they woke up again it was dinner time so they went down to the dining hall, neither of them feeling hungry enough to eat much.

“We should pack our stuff. I think we have to check out early tomorrow.” Hyunggu said while sipping on his orange juice. Shinwon nodded.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

So, once they got back to their room, they spent about an hour cleaning up and packing their suitcases until only a few essentials were left.

It was 8pm now and Hyunggu hummed.

“We didn’t even check out the pool.”

“We can do that now.” Shinwon replied and the younger raised his brows at that. 

“You want to?”

“Sure!”

Ten minutes later they were both in their trunks, towels in their arms as they made their way through the empty staircase down to the pool.

It was empty, of course. A relatively big room, lit by dim lights with benches at the walls and a rectangular pool in the middle of it. It wasn’t large but it was big enough to actually allow swimming.

Shinwon noticed when they put their towels onto the benches that Hyunggu had not only become more muscular on his arms but also on his torso. There was a hint of abs and his chest stuck out more than it had done in Shinwon’s memory.

He suddenly felt slightly self-conscious about his own physique but ignored it as they entered the water which was surprisingly warm.

“Bet I’m faster than you.” Hyunggu stated and Shinwon let out a dry laugh.

“In your dreams, maybe.”

“We’ll see.”

That was how they ended up in a race. Shinwon had the advantage of having lengthy arms and legs which allowed him to pick up speed more easily.

He won the first race and Hyunggu whined as they arrived.

“All because of your long arms!” he complained and the older laughed.

“I’ll give you another chance.”

Another chance turned into ten and Shinwon won every time. Finally the younger seemed to have enough.

“It’s really unfair! You always win at everything.”

“Didn’t know you were so competitive all of a sudden.”

the taller settled at the edge of the pool, arms holding onto the tiles of the floor behind him. Hyunggu walked up to him slowly, something sparkling in his eyes that came unfamiliar to the older.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know… but you’re a sore loser, that’s for sure.”

Hyunggu came closer, only half a metre away now.

“Say that again!” he scoffed and Shinwon raised his brows, feeling amused.

“Sore loser.” he stated.

Closer.

Hyunggu was directly in front of him now, never breaking eye contact. Shinwon suddenly found it a little hard to breathe.

“What did you call me?”

“Sore loser.” the older repeated, his voice had gone down to a whisper while Hyunggu’s eyes wandered up and down, settling on his lips.

“Asshole.” he breathed out and Shinwon’s brain seemed to shut down because he almost didn’t register when the younger boy leaned in the final bit, pressing his lips onto the other’s.

It wasn’t hard or demanding at first, a simple kiss, that was it. Shinwon copied his lip movements automatically, his mind was empty and all he felt was Hyunggu’s hands suddenly on his neck, they were surprisingly warm.

The older carefully placed his own on Hyunggu’s hips, his palms pressed onto the shorter boy’s skin.

Maybe latter took that as a sign to readjust his face and crash into his lips again, this time a little harsher, a little needier.

Kissing him was easy, he took the lead and all Shinwon had to do was give in and follow. And that was too tempting for the older to even think about resisting.

He felt Hyunggu carefully let his tongue glide over his lips and he would be a fool not to open his mouth immediately, complying to the request.

The younger kissed him deeply now and he tasted of the pool water but it didn’t even matter and maybe it was the wine but Shinwon pulled him closer until their hips crashed against each other and Hyunggu started pushing himself away and right back into him. It was too good and Shinwon didn’t want to stop at all.

He became a little confident, softly biting down on the shorter’s bottom lip, making Hyunggu sigh a little as he tended it with his tongue.

The younger’s hands wouldn’t stop wandering, up and down Shinwon’s chest, sometimes digging his nails into the older man’s skin.

Shinwon almost forgot to breathe when Hyunggu whined a little and wrapped his thighs around the other’s waist.

It was over before the taller boy knew as Hyunggu started smiling into the kiss before parting from him, making the older chase the contact without success.

Their lips were swollen, red and their cheeks were flushed. Shinwon felt dizzy as the younger gasped out a “I’ll go upstairs then.” before climbing out of the pool and grabbing his towel, leaving a very out of breath Shinwon who had his eyes still closed.

When his breathing had normalised again Shinwon got out of the pool, legs still a little shaky as he made his way back to their hotel room. 

Hyunggu wasn’t in the main room so Shinwon checked the bathroom to find the other under the shower.

“Oh… how long are you gonna take?” he asked. It was quiet for a few seconds before the younger responded.

“I think I’ll still be in here for a long while.”

“Okay…” Shinwon was about to leave the bathroom again when the other spoke again.

“Are you coming in or do I have to send you a written invite?”

The older felt his face heating up and he stood there for a few seconds, unsure of what to do, however he did quickly drop his towel and trunks to the floor and took a deep breath before opening the stained glass door leading into the shower.

“Hey.” Hyunggu said. He stood in the corner, leaving space under the showerhead for Shinwon.

The taller carefully stepped forward until the water hit his body and he closed his eyes while the pool water was washed off of him.

He heard the clicking of a shampoo bottle and found Hyunggu, who already had it in his hair, pouring the liquid soap into his palm.

“Come here.” he said softly and Shinwon obliged, stepping closer until he was out of the showerhead’s range.

The younger carefully lifted his hands and started massaging the shampoo into Shinwon’s hair. The older closed his eyes once more while the other gently continued, doing it with so much care that the taller thought he had to be dreaming.

When his scalp had relaxed from the light pressure of Hyunggu’s fingers he finally let go and Shinwon opened his eyes again to find the other smiling. He handed him the shower gel and stepped under the showerhead again while Shinwon cleaned his body properly.

Once he was done he took a deep breath before once again taking a step closer to Hyunggu until he stood directly in front of him, the water running from his hair down until it hit the floor.

He felt the younger take his hands and pull him even closer. Then Hyunggu’s hands were on Shinwon’s jaw, pulling his face down.

They kissed under the running water and they couldn’t even properly breathe but it didn’t matter. This kiss was a soft one, a caring one. Shinwon felt things he had forgotten he could feel as he felt Hyunggu stroke over his hair and finally settle with caressing his cheek.

They parted to breathe and they both laughed loudly as they gasped for air while water continued running down their bodies.

Hyunggu tipped forward once more for a sweet peck before moving back.

“Goodnight, Shinwon.” he said and stepped out of the shower, once again leaving Shinwon alone and suddenly the water felt colder than before.

When the older left the shower five minutes after and stepped into the main room with nothing but his towel wrapped around his waist Hyunggu was already fast asleep in his bed.

“Goodnight, Hyunggu.” Shinwon whispered, getting dressed quickly before slipping under his covers, sleep falling over him like another blanket.


	7. Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance

Hyunggu woke up at shortly past eight in the morning, his friend still asleep. His head was hurting a little but he smiled to himself at the thought of the evening prior.

It all had happened so impulsively and Hyunggu couldn't even recall what had prompted it. Maybe the urge had been there for a longer time, maybe a lot longer than he thought.

It had always been him and Shinwon. Maybe this was no different, maybe the reason he hadn’t been able to catch feelings for anyone was because the one he had secretly wanted to be with was already there.

He wasn’t going to overthink those things though. One way or another it was all in the past and why would he dwell on it when Shinwon had kissed him back so passionately and lovingly?

The storm had finally passed over night and the snow had settled on the ground, like a thick blanket covering everything it could reach. It was silent outside when Hyunggu opened the window. Not a single sound to be heard except for Shinwon’s breathing.

The parking lot was partly visible from their window and Hyunggu was grateful to see that someone had already freed it from most of the snow. Still, the cars were all covered in white. That would mean quite some work before their departure.

Hyunggu quickly got dressed in proper clothes and stored his last belongings in his suitcase, leaving only the other’s things in the room.

“Shinwon… wake up!” he started, sitting back on his own bed awkwardly.

The older boy sighed and turned but he didn’t make any effort to get up so Hyunggu walked over to him and started poking his shoulder.

“Get up! We gotta have breakfast before we leave. It’s already 8:15!”

Shinwon didn’t protest too much and sat up finally, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

The younger didn’t quite know if it’d be appropriate to bring the topic of the evening before up so he just remained quiet.

When the other had finally gotten dressed and packed his stuff together the two headed downstairs to the dining hall to have their final meal at the hotel.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I have to get back to work tomorrow.” Shinwon complained, sipping on his coffee. Hyunggu laughed.

“Ah, it’s only one day to the weekend. I think you can handle that.”

The older hummed and they finished eating in silence.

It now was 9:30am and they had 30 minutes left until they had to have their room entirely cleared so they headed upstairs again to grab their suitcases and coats, going to the reception to check out.

“Did you enjoy your stay? I am sorry for the inconvenience.” the receptionist asked, smiling politely.

“Oh the stay was wonderful! And you can’t control the weather so… no need to apologise.” Shinwon explained.

Then they went out of the hotel towards their cars. When they reached Hyunggu’s they stopped walking and Shinwon hugged him awkwardly.

“This was fun.” he said and the younger nodded.

“Yes, I thought so too. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, yeah… drive safely, alright?”

“I will.”

Shinwon still helped him free the vehicle from snow and ice.

Then the younger found himself in his car, alone. Wondering if he should’ve said something since Shinwon seemed to be pretending nothing had happened.

Maybe, Hyunggu thought, it was safer this way.

He sighed deeply before starting to drive, a random pop song playing over the radio. His thoughts were everywhere and nowhere. Remembering the pool, the shower, remembering Shinwon’s hands on his skin and his lips on his own.

Never had he actually expected anything like this to happen.

The sound of his phone ringing over the car speakers startled him but he picked up as he drove along the highway, slowly approaching his home city again.

-Hyunggu! Are you heading home yet?- Changgu’s voice was gentle and his younger brother immediately felt comforted by the thought of him.

-Yeah I… have an hour to drive left. Are you at work?-

-Well, yes. Why?-

-I was just wondering if I could come by and talk to you and Hwitaek.-

-Is everything alright?-

-Yeah, I’m fine I just… need to let something out.-

-How about you come by this afternoon? I should be home around five. Taekie too. We can order food from that place you like so much.-

-That sounds nice… thank you.-

-Of course are you kidding me? You’re my little brother. Whatever it is you can tell me anything, always.-

-I know… thank you. I love you.-

-I love you too. Drive carefully okay?-

-Yes sir.-

-See you later!-

Hyunggu hung up and breathed deeply, feeling comforted by the thought of getting to talk to his brother and Hwitaek about what had happened.

Hwitaek, being even older than Changgu, also took a brotherly role for Hyunggu and made the young boy feel accepted. He could see why Changgu had fallen for him. Hwitaek was kind and could be very serious but he also made sure that people around him were comfortable and cared for them when they were upset.

Hyunggu trusted the couple incredibly much and it made the thoughts less pressuring. He knew he’d figure out a solution, together with them.

Arriving at home was as dreadful as he’d expected. His roommates were all at college so Hyunggu simply left his suitcase in his room before planting himself on the couch, grabbing a book he’d read a million times before and letting himself escape the scary reality of what had happened within the last 24 hours.

He could’ve gone to class too, of course, but right now he was glad he’d cancelled for this day too, he couldn't imagine facing anyone right now.

For lunch he boiled some ramen and as he ate the front door opened, one of his friends stepping in.

Jung Wooseok was as tall as he was gentle. A philosophy student who spent most of his free time watching cat videos and animes

The two of them had only distantly known each other before they were grouped together to live in this very dorm with its white walls and laminate flooring.

Hyunggu, whenever he needed some time just to get his mind off the stress of being a college student, would slip into Wooseok’s room which was already too small for said boy and the two of them would sit on his bed and talk or listen to music while eating gummy bears.

Hyunggu really liked him. He was a sweet guy, innocent and kind. He would bring their roommates’ favourite snacks or drinks without being asked to do so. He’d turn the lights off or bring blankets when one of them fell asleep over their desk.

Wooseok placed his keys on the cupboard in the hallway and gasped as he peeked into the kitchen.

“Hyunggu! You’re home!”

“Hey. Want some ramen? I made too much.”

“You don’t have to ask twice.”

The tall boy sat down across from Hyunggu after grabbing a bowl for himself and started eating.

“When did you arrive?”

“Maybe… three hours ago? There barely was any traffic so…”

“How was your trip?”

“It was fun…” Hyunggu started. “Kind of strange since we were stuck in the hotel for most of it but… yeah.”

“That sounds nice! I bought those marshmallows you like for when you get here.”

“Wooseok you are an angel.”

The tall man grinned, shaking his head. “Just missed my favourite roomie.”

“Don’t let the others hear that!” Hyunggu responded and they both laughed loudly at that. “I’m gonna visit my brother later but… once I get back, are you down for a movie night?”

“Obviously!” Wooseok shot two thumbs up enthusiastically at the suggestion and they both continued eating then. Hyunggu felt a lot more comfortable now, not being alone anymore.

They spent a while talking about the past six days and what each of them had missed.

“Yeonjun almost spilled soup all over his laptop on tuesday.” Wooseok told Hyunggu and latter laughed.

“Typical.”

It continued like that until it was almost five. By then their other roommates had returned home and joined their conversation. It was comfortable.

Hyunggu finally made his way to Changgu’s place feeling a little lighter than before.

He knocked carefully at the door to the small apartment that belonged to his brother and was delighted when Hwitaek opened up only seconds later.

“My baby!” the older man exclaimed, pulling Hyunggu into a tight hug and rocking him from side to side. “Look at you! I was already worried when Changgu told me you sounded upset at the phone.”

“I’m okay, Hwitaek.”

The older just hummed, squeezing Hyunggu tightly before letting him go. Now Changgu entered the hallway too and opened his arms widely, almost tackling his younger brother in the process of hugging him.

“Hey!” he muttered and Hyunggu relaxed in his embrace.

“Hey Changgu. I missed you.”

“I missed you too! Come inside. I already ordered the food, it should be here soon.”

“You’re the best.”

Changgu smiled, taking Hyunggu’s hand and leading him inside while Hwitaek closed the front door and followed after them.

Now the youngest was in between the couple as they both showered him with affection.

“Are you okay? You can talk to us, kid.” Hwitaek said and Hyunggu sighed.

“I know… it’s just… I’m confused.”

“What happened?” Changgu squeezed his brother’s hand.

“Well yesterday night I… we were swimming in the hotel pool, you know? And just… I don’t know, I kissed Shinwon… and later we showered together-”

“What?” Hwitaek interrupted. Hyunggu’s face was heating up.

“Not like that! We just showered. And kissed in the shower, that’s all. But… I’m just… I don’t know, today he pretended like nothing happened and I’m a bit afraid of bringing it up again because I don’t really want to risk our friendship.”

The two older men sighed and Changgu pulled his brother close to his chest until Hyunggu could hear his heartbeat. Hwitaek rubbed his thigh and suddenly things seemed a lot less dramatic than they had in Hyunggu’s mind a few hours ago.

“That’s a really complicated situation… considering you two haven’t talked much recently.” Changgu said and his younger brother nodded.

“But you really have to talk to him about it as soon as possible! It’s not okay to pretend nothing happened and let both of you hurt in silence.” Hwitaek’s voice was calm but demanding. He had always been the most reasonable one. He knew how to tell wrong from right and he spoke up about things whenever he could.

“I should apologize… I didn’t even ask him for consent or anything.” Hyunggu mumbled and he felt a gentle kiss in his hair from his brother.

“That’s a good idea.”

“Should I call him?”

“Yeah! Why not?” Hwitaek responded and Hyunggu nodded as Changgu let him go and he got out his phone, dialling Shinwon’s number.

His friend picked up quickly and Hyunggu held the phone up to his ear.

-Hyunggu?-

-Hey…-

-What’s up?-

-I just… wanted to talk to you.-

-Yeah, sure, what’s going on?-

-I mean… do you have time tomorrow? I’d rather talk in person.-

-I’m heading to Hongseok’s over the weekend right after work tomorrow, sorry. Is it urgent? We can do it over the phone right now, I have time.-

-Okay… alright uhm… I wanted to talk about yesterday?-

-Oh…-

-It’s just… I wanted to say sorry for like… kissing you without asking if you want that and like doing it out of the blue… that wasn’t right of me to do.-

-It’s okay I… you don’t have to apologize.-

-What do we do now, Shinwon?-

-I’m… Hyunggu, you understand that I can’t… see you that way, right?-

-Why not?- Hyunggu felt his voice shake a bit and Changgu reached to hold his free hand.

-Hyunggu I… you’ve always been like a little brother to me. I can’t…-

-A brother? Are you serious?-

-Please try to understand!-

-No, I don’t understand. Since when do you treat a brother like that, Shinwon? You don’t look at a brother that way. You don’t kiss your brother like that. You’re not being fair at all.-

-Hyunggu I just don’t know what to do… it would feel wrong of me to consider you anything other than a friend.-

-Then why did you kiss me back?-

-I just… I don’t know. Hyunggu, please, let’s think about this and talk in person.-

-No I think I’ve heard enough.-

-Don’t be like this!-

-Like what? You told me no one wants to date a nerd like you well maybe I want to! Maybe I’ve always wanted to! You’re being such a moron right now.-

-Hyunggu I’m sorry I just can’t.-

-Fine. Just leave me alone then.-

-What? Please, no!-

-Bye.-

Hyunggu hung up before the other could say anything else and burst into tears while Hwitaek and Changgu who’d been able to hear everything embraced him tightly and tried to calm him down, peppering his face with soft pecks and rubbing his arms and back.

“Baby, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Hwitaek whispered and Hyunggu let out a sob.

“It’s not fair!” he choked out.

“You’re right. But it’s not worth crying about.” Changgu said.

Hyunggu’s head started to hurt after ten minutes so he slowly tried to catch himself, breathing deeply and allowing the older two to pamper him, wrap him into blankets, feed him the food that had just arrived and giving him water so he wouldn’t dehydrate.

He was glad that he wasn’t alone in that moment. It probably would’ve killed him.

When the food was all eaten up, tasting a little too salty mixed with the tears and over all not having been as enjoyable as usual, Hyunggu finally got up.

“I told Wooseok we’d have a movie night today.” he explained and Changgu smiled at that, hugging him tightly.

“That’s good. Enjoy that, alright?”

“Okay.”

“And drive safely.” Hwitaek added, also hugging the youngest man before he left, head still hurting as he started the car.


	8. The Weekend - Shinwon

Shinwon woke up on friday with a pounding headache, as if someone was hitting a hammer against his skull repeatedly. He massaged his temples but nothing seemed to help.

“Damn you, Kang Hyunggu.” he mumbled to himself, forcing himself out of bed and slumping towards the bathroom. He hit his elbow on the doorframe but nothing seemed to be able to ruin his mood anymore, it was already at it’s lowest.

Staying up until five in the morning, trying to figure out how to sort things out with one of the best friends he’d ever had seemed to be rather inconvenient, considering that he had to be at work two hours later.

He splashed a large amount of cold water into his face and his body seemed to leave the half asleep state it had been in, fully awake now. The headache became less prominent.

He took off his clothes to go take a shower and ended up staring at himself in the mirror.

His shoulders were slumped and his hair was messier than ever. His eyes had a hint of a blue ring under them and over all he looked absolutely exhausted.

Shinwon slipped into the shower and breathed deeply, trying to get his thoughts somewhere else, anywhere but where they were right now, swirling around Hyunggu.

A week of ups and downs had managed to pretty much ruin a friendship he’d treasured and held onto for a decade now, one he’d tried to save.

He got out and eventually found himself sitting on the edge of his bed, fully dressed and ready for the day. He had another twenty minutes until he had to leave the house and his fingers lingered over the button that would dial Hyunggu’s number.

‘I’m sorry.’ he could say. But what use would be in that?

He ended up calling his mother instead.

-Shinwon! It’s so early, why are you up?-

-I have work, mum…-

-Right, I keep forgetting that. Did you get home well yesterday?-

-Mhm. The roads weren’t that packed.-

-How was your trip? Did you have a fun time?-

-Of course… it was nice.-

-How is Hyunggu? I haven’t heard from him in a while. It’s a pity.-

-He’s good he’s graduating college soon.-

-Already? Wow… you’re all growing so fast, huh…-

-Yeah… I’m gonna visit Hongseok over the weekend.-

-Lovely! Tell him I said hi. He’s always invited to come here if he ever wants a good old home cooked meal.-

-Mum he knows how to cook!-

-Ah, Shinwon, am I not allowed to miss a kid who’s like a son to me? Now, have a good day at work, yeah? And enjoy the weekend.-

-I will. I love you.-

-I love you!-

Shinwon hung up and took another deep breath. He started picking out some clothes to take to Hongseok’s and hurriedly packed a bag. He might as well drive to his friend’s place directly after work.

Work proved itself to be the single constant thing in that moment. Nothing special happened. Everything was as always. He barely noticed the hours passing until he was back in his car, the sun already on it’s way to vanish behind the horizon.

Hyunggu doesn't like driving in the dark.

That’s what he remembered as he pulled onto the highway, the street lamps already on while the sky was painted in hues of purple and pink.

Hongseok called him and Shinwon almost cried in relief as his best friend’s voice filled his car through the speakers.

-Shinwonie! Where are you right now?-

-Just got onto the highway. I should be there in maybe an hour and a half.-

-Wonderful. I’m going to make spaghetti for when you’re here.-

-You’re my saviour.-

-You alright? You sound a bit less enthusiastic than normally.- Hongseok had a way of always knowing when something was going on with Shinwon. It was almost scary.

-I’ll tell you when I’m there it’s… quite a lot.-

-Okay then. I’m sure we can figure it out. See you in a bit then?-

-Yeah, see you then.-

When Hongseok’s voice was replaced with that of a random singer Shinwon felt heavier again. He focused on the traffic and only thought about his best friend. It would be okay.

Hongseok’s apartment smelled of the lavender spray he used religiously to cover any unwelcome scent. He had his arms spread widely when the other appeared on his doorstep and almost squeezed the life out of him.

“Enough- I can’t breathe!” Shinwon gasped out and his friend let go, smiling.

“Hey Won. No offense but you look like shit.”

“Likewise.” Shinwon muttered in response as he let Hongseok drag him inside, running into the kitchen to check the pasta.

“Perfect timing.” he stated, quickly finishing up and guiding the other to sit at the table, loading a huge portion onto both of their plates.

“Now,” he started as he finally sat down, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“I fought with Hyunggu…”

“What? Why?”

“He kissed me and yesterday I told him that I can’t be with him because he’s always been like a little brother to me. He got really mad at me.” Shinwon admitted, poking his fork into the spaghetti that technically were way too good to not be eaten.

Hongseok sighed. “Full story, Shinwonie. Right now you’re sounding like a dick.”

“Well we spent a lot of time together on this trip, right? It wasn’t awkward at all, it was like it’s always been and I really enjoyed it, you know? It’s exactly what I went on that trip for… then on wednesday evening we went to the pool and, I don’t know, he kissed me… I kissed him back. It was really strange but like it was good, you know? And… we showered? Like… together?”

Hongseok spit out his water at that, eyes widened. Shinwon felt panicked.

“Not like that! Nothing happened. We just showered and kissed. That’s all. But I just… I thought it was a one time thing, in the moment sort of, so I didn’t bring it up again and neither did he! But then he called me yesterday evening and he asked what we are and he told me he’d want to be with me. But I told him I can’t. And he got so upset and told me not to talk to him again.” his voice grew weaker with each word and he swallowed hard after finishing. Hongseok just looked at him, his eyes unreadable.

“Shinwon that’s… a bit unfair of you, don’t you think?”

“Why of me? He’s been my friend for ten years, I always saw him as someone I want to take care of and protect. Like a brother!”

“But you kissed him back. I see why he’d feel angry. Your arguments aren’t making sense.”

Shinwon sighed, gripping his hair. Hongseok reached across the table to rub his arm.

“Hey, look at me.” he told him so Shinwon did. “Let’s figure this out, hm?”

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to lose him!”

“Shinwon we can think of something. But you have to put yourself in his shoes. Maybe he’s harboured these feelings for you all this time and now you hurt him.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just want things to be the way they always were.”

Hongseok hummed. “Shinwonie, some things can’t stay the way they are forever and that’s okay. Look at us, for example. We used to see each other almost every day! And now we live hours apart. Does that make you any less of my best friend? Does that mean I love you any less than before? No! Because things change but that’s not a bad thing!”

Shinwon nodded, sighing. Hongseok was right, of course. He always was.

“I think I need more time to think about this.”

“Okay. We can talk whenever you’re ready. Now eat those spaghetti before they get cold.” 

After dinner the two spent the evening playing board games, a tradition they’d established as kids. 

Their phones were discarded in a different room. “No distractions.” was their rule. Shinwon was thankful, he didn’t have to anxiously check his phone for a message that wouldn’t arrive.

As he was lying on the extendable couch in the living room later that night, tossing around as he tried to sleep, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Hongseok had said. ‘Your arguments aren’t making any sense.’

Maybe everything had simply happened too fast. 

He barely realised that he’d fallen asleep and woken up again, it was still dark outside but a glance onto his phone revealed that it was morning.

Shinwon forced himself to get up, turning the light on and making his way to the kitchen to get some coffee. Hongseok had said he was always welcome to treat this as his second home and he knew he didn’t have to hesitate at all.

His best friend was a long sleeper. He normally didn’t get out of bed until 10 if he had the chance and today wouldn’t be any different.

Shinwon sat at the small kitchen table, sipping his beverage while scrolling through social media.

He checked Hyunggu’s, nothing new. Of course not.

Hongseok stumbled into the kitchen surprisingly early, it was just barely nine o’clock.

“Morning.” he muttered, walking over to his coffee machine and preparing a can.

“Hi.” Shinwon responded, letting out a sigh. “What’s the plan for the day?”

“They opened up some arcade nearby. We can go check that out.”

“Sounds fun!”

Hongseok nodded, yawning loudly. They both knew that now maybe wasn’t the best time to have a deeper conversation.

Morning passed by and Shinwon found himself running after his friend who was incredibly enthusiastic about the games available.

It was nice, spending time with Hongseok like this. They rarely ever had the chance to. 

Growing up had been a scary experience for both of them, being apart from each other had made their friendship a challenge. But they had always been determined to stick together.

Hongseok was cheering loudly, making the other laugh.

“You haven’t gotten any better at these, loser!” Shinwon teased, earning a noise of complaint from the other who now was a lot more motivated to win.

“Not everyone can be an ace at every single game! You’re an unfair opponent!” Hongseok whined finally as they finished another round.

“You chose to befriend me, you’re not getting out of this anymore, Yang Hongseok!”

They both laughed, hugging each other lightly before deciding to head home since the sun had begun setting outside.

On their way there they bought groceries. “We’re gonna make a feast tonight.” Hongseok had stated and they got everything they could possibly need. Not that either of them were excellent chefs but it would be enough to satisfy their hunger.

Hongseok was currently cutting up vegetables. “I would feel terrible about myself if we didn’t have anything healthy at all.” he explained and Shinwon laughed.

“I think your diet is the last thing you have to worry about. Your fridge is all healthy and fresh stuff…”

“Please, I already know I wouldn’t survive a day at your place.”

“That’s why I always am the one to come visit.”

They chuckled once more and Hongseok pulled his friend into a quick hug before returning to preparing food.

An hour later they were draped over the sofa, stomachs filled and eyelids heavy from tiredness. 

“I think I have to talk to Hyunggu.” Shinwon stated while Hongseok attempted to pick a movie from Netflix, not really making any progress since he was just as indecisive as ever.

“No shit. What made you come to your senses?”

“I miss him. I know that that’s kind of stupid because I saw him literally two days ago but… well, a lot of things have happened in a very short time.”

“What are you gonna tell him?”

“I… don’t know yet.”

“Well you know what I always say, fake it till you make it.” Hongseok shrugged and Shinwon laughed at his comment.

“Yeah, I’ll have to wing it I guess.”

“I’m glad you’re gonna talk to him though. You’re kind of annoying when you’re frustrated.”

“Thanks I love you too.”

They both laughed and Hongseok scooted over a little to hug the other.

“You’ll be fine, you and Hyunggu.” he said, voice low and Shinwon believed him.

The next morning Hongseok woke up before Shinwon, already standing in the kitchen and preparing breakfast when the latter woke up.

“Good morning sleepy head, it’s almost twelve.” he said as the other entered the room. Shinwon simply groaned.

He hadn’t been able to sleep well that night, constantly being woken up from dreams and his mind, finding himself in a spiral of thoughts that surrounded Hyunggu. He didn’t want to admit it, not even to himself, but he was deeply afraid of what was to come with their conversation.

“Didn’t sleep very well.” he admitted and Hongseok nodded.

“That’s okay. Coffee?”

“Please.”

Shinwon sipped on his beverage, allowing himself to let his friend spoil him by setting up the table and finally settling down across from him, both of them beginning to eat.

“When are you leaving today?” Hongseok asked. Shinwon thought for a while.

“I don’t really want to be driving when it’s too dark so I’m probably leaving at three ish.”

The other nodded, continuing to eat.

“We can watch a movie or something then before you leave.”

“Sure thing!”

After they both finished eating, cleaning up together, they sat down on the couch and Hongseok put on a disney movie.

“It’s gonna make you feel powerful so you can have that talk with Hyunggu.”

“I’m not gonna talk to him today!” Shinwon protested and his friend rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. We’re watching tangled, end of discussion.”

Shinwon found himself immersed in the movie, as he always did with this particular one. He was a sucker for happy endings anyways but this one was special. It made him feel genuinely joyful and hopeful.

Before he knew it he was in front of his car, Hongseok held him tightly and sighed a little.

“Look, I know you’ve had a hard time with this but… I really think Hyunggu would be good for you.”

“In what way?”

“Every way. You have always cared for him in a way you care for no one else so… go talk to him. Fix this, I know you can.”

“I’ll try my best.” Shinwon felt heavy but deep down he knew the other was right. Hongseok let go of him and rubbed his arms before allowing him to get into the car. waving as he took off.

The ride seemed to take forever, he got stuck in traffic several times and time seemed to be running by as he made no progress. It took almost an hour longer than usual to finally get home so he was more than delighted to find a parking spot nearby his apartment complex.

Shinwon grabbed the backpack he’d taken with him into one hand and his keys into the other as he went up towards his home.

There was a figure sitting on the doorstep, barely visible in the darkness of the night, silhouette dimly lit by the flickering lamp over the door. It seemed all too familiar but Shinwon couldn’t quite tell how. Maybe it was a neighbor?

He’d almost arrived at the doorstep when the person looked up, locking eyes with him and Shinwon dropped both his bag and his keys.

“Hyunggu!” he gasped out.

  
  



	9. The Weekend - Hyunggu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter :(( I hope you all like it

Hyunggu arrived at home to find the door to Wooseok’s room wide open so he slipped through it and quickly closed the door, sitting on the bed next to his roommate.

“Hey! Did you have fun with your brother?” Wooseok asked, smiling at him and Hyunggu sighed.

“Wouldn’t exactly call it fun but it was good to see him.”

“What happened?”

While Wooseok raised his brows the other boy lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and fidgeting his fingers.

“I think I lost my best friend of ten years.” he stated, his throat tightening up the second the words had left his mouth.

His roommate made a confused noise, prompting him to explain. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I… kind of kissed Shinwon yesterday? And now I called him while I was at Changgu’s and I told him to leave me alone.”

Wooseok choked on his spit, coughing loudly. Hyunggu patted his back until it stopped and the tall boy could catch his breath again.

“I’m sorry, what? Please slow down the information stream.”

“I kissed Shinwon, last night. And he kissed me back.”

“How did that happen? I mean… I didn’t know you liked him?”

“Well I didn’t know I did either. It just happened! But I’ve just realised that I… always kind of felt a really deep connection to him?” Hyunggu sighed, closing his eyes. “And now I messed everything up.”

“Hm? How?”

“I called him to talk about it and he said he can’t… see me that way, because he views me like a little brother… so I snapped at him.”

Wooseok started patting his roommate’s hair, not saying anything at first. Then he cleared his throat.

“That’s a really stupid reason to snap at your best friend.” he stated.

“I know… I feel so stupid in general, I wish I could just… delete the last 24 hours.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help with that but… how about we binge a few black mirror episodes?”

Hyunggu nodded, sitting up and smiling weakly at the other. “Thanks, Wooseok.”

“Ah, that’s okay. That’s what friends are for.”

Hours later, way past midnight, Hyunggu forced himself to go back to his room, not even bothering to change out of his clothes before passing out in his bed, exhausted both physically and mentally from the two days that had passed.

As fast as wednesday and thursday had passed, friday seemed to be taking forever to end. In college Hyunggu found himself watching the clock, counting every tick and seemingly waiting forever for another minute to pass.

He spent his lunch break with his roommates who never ran out of things to talk about. Wooseok shot him a few concerned looks but Hyunggu shrugged it off.

‘I’m fine.’ he told himself. And he wanted to believe it.

The second his final class ended he sprinted out of the classroom, catching a bus earlier than usual. It was less crowded than the one he normally took and he managed to acquire a seat by a window, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, music loud in his earphones.

At home he distracted himself by doing homework, studying, preparing things that he didn’t even have to, doing anything to keep himself busy. And for the biggest part it was working.

His dinner consisted of some instant ramen and eventually he found himself lying in his bed, staring at his phone, wondering if it would be a good idea to call Shinwon.

He ended up calling Changgu instead.

-Hey, are you okay?- his older brother sounded out of breath, concerned as ever.

-I’m okay. Why are you breathing so heavily?-

-We’re… in the middle of a run.-

-A run?-

-A jog. Not the point. Why are you calling? Do you need something?-

-I just need some distraction… I can’t stop thinking about Shinwon I’m… really upset.-

-I’m sure you can figure things out. And you have time to think about this, no one’s rushing you.-

-I’m kind of afraid that I might lose him over this.-

-I don't think he’d leave you because of a simple fight. Man, you don’t wanna know the things I have fought about with Taek. One time I was so convinced it’d end in him breaking up with me that I packed everything he had ever given to me up neatly in case he wanted it back.-

-You’re so dramatic! Hwitaek is literally insanely in love with you.-

-Obviously! I’d be boring if I wasn’t dramatic. He loves it. God, can’t wait to marry that man… anyways, my point is that you can figure things out, I’m sure.-

-Thank you… Sorry for bothering so late.-

-It’s okay, you never bother me. Go to sleep early, yeah? Tomorrow the world's gonna look a lot less bad than it does right now.-

-I love you.-

-I love you, talk to you soon! Hwitaek says hi.-

-Say hi back!-

With a sigh Hyunggu settled back into his bed, placing his phone aside and closing his eyes, trying to get rid of the doubts clogging his mind.

There was a knock on his door.

“Yeah?” he asked, barely loud enough for it to be audible.

“Can I come in?” Wooseok’s deep voice sounded small and Hyunggu smiled.

“Yeah, of course.”

The tall boy entered awkwardly, walking over to Hyunggu after he'd closed the door and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What’s up?” Hyunggu asked.

“Just… wanted to check in on you. Any progress?”

“Not really. But it’s okay, I’ll figure it out. Thanks for caring.”

“Oh no, that’s okay! I was worried about you so…”

Hyunggu smiled, opening his arms and hugging his roommate shortly, feeling a lot less heavy afterwards.

“Do you need anything?” he asked the tall boy who shook his head.

“No, I’m good. You look tired, I’ll let you sleep.”

“Thank you… I’m very grateful.”

“Of course! Sleep well, Hyunggu.”

“You too. Goodnight!”

Wooseok waved as he left the room, Hyunggu once again finding himself alone, closing his eyes and easily slipping into a deep sleep.

He slept in late on saturday, daylight finally waking him up. He could hear noises from the hallway and the kitchen which was located next to his room so he forced himself to get up.

His three roommates, Wooseok, Yuto and Yeonjun had gathered there, preparing what almost seemed like a celebratory breakfast, something that didn’t really occur often in their apartment.

“Morning.” Hyunggu greeted, yawning. Yuto smiled at him and handed him a cup of coffee.

“Hey sleepyhead.” he said and the four of them chuckled.

Hyunggu volunteered to set the table and a few minutes later they all sat together, eating in peace.

“I was thinking,” Wooseok started, “maybe we could have a dorm day today. Get some nice food for lunch, maybe go grocery shopping. We also really have to clean a bit.”

“Seems like a good idea.” Yeonjun agreed while Hyunggu and Yuto nodded.

Once they’d finished eating they started cleaning, splitting up chores, putting on music over Yuto’s speaker and singing along loudly, none of them hitting a single note.

It was fun. Hyunggu ended up with kitchen duty, cleaning the dishes and being able to ease his mind for a little.

When he was done the kitchen looked as clean as one that belonged to four college students could possibly look.

About an hour had passed and the boys went to their rooms, getting dressed and ready for the day, meeting in the hallway in the early noon.

Hyunggu felt relaxed as he left the house, walking next to Wooseok as the four men went to Yuto’s car.

Their first stop was the grocery store and they ended up laughing loudly and buying a lot of unneeded foods. 

“It’s okay, we’ll eat them eventually.” Yeonjun had argued and they all agreed on that.

Hyunggu remembered scenarios like this with Shinwon, a 17 year old and a 15 year old strolling through the store in the early evening hours, joking around, playing chase and buying the most unhealthy of all snacks and drinks.

They would sometimes hold hands absentmindedly and exchange back hugs in line at the register.

He smiled at the memories, feeling warm as he snapped out of it and watched his roommates argue about which kind of flavoured milk to choose.

The four finally ended up back in the car, heading home to put the food into the fridge and cupboards, still talking about the week, Hyunggu feeling grateful that they didn’t make him say anything about the trip.

Since it now was late afternoon they went outside again and made their way to a small restaurant nearby their apartment complex.

Yeonjun was in the middle of telling a story when Hyunggu’s phone started ringing, his breath getting stuck at the thought of who might be the caller.

He didn’t know if he should call it luck or disappointment when it turned out to be Changgu.

-Hello?- he asked while getting up, excusing himself.

-Hyunggu! What are you doing today?-

-I’m out with my roommates.-

-Have you talked to Shinwon yet?-

-No! What the hell, Changgu. How do you expect that to go?-

-It just doesn’t sit right with me that you aren’t talking to your best friend.-

-I… I mean he’s… with Hongseok, I think. So, I can’t speak with him at the moment anyways.-

-Tomorrow?-

-Changgu! It’s been two days!-

-The sooner you sort it out the less you have to worry about it.-

-I’ll think about it. Anything else?-

-Yeah, do you want to come for breakfast tomorrow? Mum and dad will be there too.-

-Sure. What time should I come?-

-Maybe around nine, if that’s okay.-

-Yeah, I’ll be there. See you tomorrow then. I love you!-

-I love you. See you!-

Hyunggu sighed as he headed back to the table. “Just my brother.” he explained, allowing the conversation to continue normally.

The rest of the day went by incredibly fast and soon Hyunggu found himself back in his bed, staring at his phone, somehow expecting that maybe Shinwon would text him.

He didn't, of course, so after an hour, with it being almost midnight, he finally fell asleep.

When he woke up on sunday all of his roommates were asleep so he quickly texted their group chat to let them know his whereabouts, then he went outside, driving to his brother’s place.

Hwitaek greeted him at the door, hugging him tightly. 

“Hey, you alright? I know Changgu might have sounded insensitive but really he’s just worried.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m alright.” Hyunggu affirmed, earning a smile from the older man.

Changgu was in the kitchen preparing coffee and tea, smiling as he saw his brother.

Hyunggu went over to hug him quickly, then he offered to set the table while he let the couple exchange some sweet words and gestures.

His parents arrived about twenty minutes after him, hugging all three of the young men tightly, talking about how much they had missed them.

“It’s so good to see you again. Is college going alright, Hyunggu?” his mother asked and Hyunggu nodded.

“It’s alright, I’m not too worried.”

“That’s good. Changgu, Hwitaek, how is the wedding planning?”

Hwitaek blushed a little. “We’re still looking for venues, I think we narrowed the choices down to three but it’s hard to make a final pick.”

“I’m sure you’ll have that figured out soon! God, you are already getting married… feels like yesterday that Changgu introduced you to us… he got so shy, remember?”

“Yeah, mum, thanks…” Changgu muttered, visibly embarrassed. The others laughed.

The family went to eat then, however Hyunggu’s father cleared his throat at one point and turned to him.

“You didn’t really say anything about your trip yet. How are things with Shinwon? Did you two get along well?”

Hyunggu felt Hwitaek pat his arm under the table.

“Yeah, it was nice. Oh! Right, I got a pretty vase for mum. I have it in my car, I can get it later.”

His parents seemed to understand that this was all they were going to hear about it so they changed the topic quickly while Hyunggu drifted off into his thoughts, eating silently as he wondered how far his regrets could go.

They all ended up spending the whole morning talking, not that Hyunggu could pay much attention to the conversation.

While his and Changgu’s parents left at around one in the afternoon Hyunggu decided to stay a little longer, settling on the couch with his brother and Hwitaek. The older men hugged him, giving him comfort.

“Everything will be alright, I’m sure of that.” Hwitaek said and Hyunggu sighed.

“I feel stupid.” he admitted.

“You’re not stupid at all.” Changgu held him a little closer, comforting him like he always had.

The three ended up playing an intense game of monopoly for two hours and before he knew Hyunggu felt like he had overstayed so he decided to leave.

Both of the older men gave him tight hugs and kind words before he headed out.

Back in the dorm he fell onto his bed, groaning.

He couldn't help but feel upset at himself and he knew better than to believe things would figure themselves out on their own.

He knew he had to talk to Shinwon.

Hyunggu took a look at himself in his mirror, attempting to fix his mess of hair before leaving the house again, feeling powerless as soon as he entered his car.

He still drove, stopping nearby Shinwon’s apartment. He practically ran to the door, ringing the bell but there was no response.

That was why he sat down on the steps leading up to the building’s entrance, trying to ignore the biting cold.

He waited, he didn’t know for how long but the sun had long set when he heard steps, looking up to see a very familiar tall man walk towards him.

He couldn’t even think of what to say when he heard the other call out his name. “Hyunggu!” he sounded exhausted, relieved, everything at once.

The younger got up, trying to find words to say.

“Shinwon!” he managed to press out. The older had dropped his things and practically ran towards him, pulling him close.

“My god, it’s freezing! For how long have you been here?” he whispered and Hyunggu tried to sort his thoughts.

“Maybe an hour.” he finally ended up answering.

Shinwon gasped, tightening his hold. “Hyunggu! It’s mid february, jeez, what are you doing? Do you want to get sick?”

Hyunggu felt his throat tightening and his face heating up as he let out the first sob.

“I’m sorry.” he managed to whine, face buried in the other’s chest. Shinwon began stroking the back of his head.

“What are you talking about? I’m the one who’s sorry. I am so sorry, Hyunggu.” he said, his voice shaky, like he was trying to hold back the tears.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Hyunggu whispered, his voice almost swallowed by the fabric of the other’s sweater. He felt Shinwon press a kiss into his hair.

“Silly boy.” he said, “We’ve been friends for ten years. Do you really think I’d just let go of you that easily?”

Hyunggu stayed silent, just sobbing into his friend’s chest.

“Come on, let’s go inside. You have to warm up.” Shinwon’s voice was warm and calm so the younger had no choice but to follow him into the building, clinging onto his arm, as if he was afraid that if he let go of Shinwon he’d disappear.

Hyunggu hadn’t been to his apartment in a longer time and it felt weird at first. He’d redecorated it and there were plants everywhere.

Shinwon led him to the living room, helping the younger take off his coat and pulling him into a tight embrace as they sat down on the sofa.

Hyunggu took in his scent, the all too familiar one. Dominated by the cologne he’d been using since early high school.

“Shinwon I don’t… I don’t want to argue.” he admitted and the older hummed.

“We’re not arguing. Just talking.”

“I just… don’t want to make things awkward. I’m really sorry for… for what I said. And for kissing you and… everything.”

Shinwon rubbed the shorter boy’s back, sighing.

“Don’t be sorry, you hear me? I’m the one who has to apologise. I’m really sorry for being stubborn and… stupid. You know, I’ve always been so fond of you. I always was content with having you, you and I were always a good team, right?”

“Yeah…”

“I have to admit I was really scared when you called me. Because I realised that this would mean change, one way or another. And I’m so afraid of ruining our friendship.”

“I know. I didn’t mean to pressure you, I’m sorry.”

“No, no that’s not where I’m trying to get here. I want to say… I’d really like to try this.”

“What?”

“I’ve come to realise that maybe I was just too blind this entire time to see that you were right there. I’m… you know I don’t have a lot of experience but… I want to see where things can lead between us.”

Hyunggu looked up and they made eye contact. “Are you… serious?”

Shinwon nodded. The younger smiled then, nodding back.

“Okay. I’d like that too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time actually writing a fully narrated fics with chapters SO I hope you all like it at least a bit, be patient with me I'm testing things out :D  
> I'll be updating daily!! There will be 9 chapters in total so I hope you like them!!!  
> Also in case anyone doesn't know my twitter is @celestialhyo, I write a lot of pentagon AUs!! you can check them if you want  
> 


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